Friday, April 27, 2007
And her Harajuku lovers line is soooo ugly. Ugly hoodies splashed with stupid logos that look like why should come from Forever21 but are kind of expensive. And here we have a really, really terrible t-shirt with a funky little Asian girl with an afro screened on it, cause, like Asians are fun the way naming your son after a Jamaican city and having a bunch of Japanese girls trailing after you is like, really creative and fun too. It's like forty dollars and stuff, which is a great price for piece of mass-produced crap. Don't buy it.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
But, the point is, Go Fug Yourself hated on this look of Kiki's at the Oscars, but I have to admit, I love it. I love the tiny little collar, the red lipstick, the bangs, the marabou trim, the fact that she looks like a cross between a schoolgirl and a 1930's vamp. If this dress were in any other color, I agree, it would be a tad too much. But in the silvery gray, I think it looks totally unique and lovely. It's fun, playful, and a little strange without being obnoxious. And I'd much rather see this than the glittering sack I'm sure was her second choice.
Monday, April 23, 2007
The girl on the right looks really, really lumpy and shapeless in this Ultra High Waist Short, though I doubt she really is. They create a blocky, rectangular figure, and they really don't work with that dishrag of a tank top, which adds to the overall sloppiness and shapelessness (I guess I would suggest a fitted white blouse for a more flattering, 40's look, but what I really suggest is burning these shorts.)
Ohmygod, looking at the shorts gallery is like being flashed back to a hot summer day at Great America Theme Park in San Mateo, circa 1991. Look at these! And these! I'm gonna get a perm and gel my bangs and add some Keds and work it.
We have: a large scarf, a million necklaces, a beige tube top (ewwww....who wears those except Posh Spice circa 1997? Clearly it was just placed there to minimize the "skin" revealed by that gaping tank top), a turquoise and gold foil happy face t-shirt cut into a blousy tank top, A FANNY PACK hanging off her side like some kind of horrible tumor, and an overdyed purple acid washed denim mini with a cut-off hem. Overall, it makes the mannequin look bloated and big around the middle, as well as very hideously dressed.
It's not even a cute fanny pack. I mean, maybe if it was a cute print or something, I could KIND OF overlook it, but it's clearly the same fanny pack that ugly people wore to visit Six Flags in 1987.
As for trends, the flapper look goes in and out, and finding an authentic, 1920's flapper dress for a decent price on eBay isn't too hard, though one of this caliber is rather rare. The intricate, beautiful art deco beading and sequins, the drop waist, and fluttery, handkerchief-esque hemline are all features that have been echoed in different styles and trends, but originated in dresses like this, made for dancing in the 1920's. So instead of purchasing lots of disposable 80's poly vintage, maybe think about buying one or two authentic, well-made pieces whose details were later perverted to create the sack dresses and whatnot everyone is so desperate to put on today.
Monday, April 16, 2007
What do you think he's listening to on his iPod? (Um, aren't those like $300 or something?) Lightning Bolt? That "!!!"band? Some nu rave? What's really horrifying is to think of what his parents look like. They're probably so trended out of their minds they're writhing on the sidewalk in acid-wash somewhere, choking on their own leggings.
Cassette tapes as hipster fashion has been a long-running trend that appears to finally be on the outs, but there's still time to slip on this monstrosity. Just don't do any dancing, or you might hit someone in the face with that totally retro orange thing and scar them for life. Of course, if this one is too dainty for you, there's always this charming option.
I wish I’d tried these babies on, because I’m sure the back view would have been pretty amazing. I mean, who hasn’t looked for something high in the waist with a nice foot-long drop from waist to crotch? Simone referred to the shorts as a “burlap loincloth”, which I feel is 100% accurate. The real mystery is: Who bought these? And what were they trying to hide?
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
The specimen on the left is wearing a sweater that looks like it came from Talbots (the Republican mother store) circa 1989. To flash it up, he's added a necklace, a metallic top, some sort of wispy mullet, black satin leggings, and a really, really ugly pair of white hi-tops that look like the sneakers the unpopular kids got at Costco in 8th grade. I believe they were called "Court Classics." I mean, this look makes some failed attempts at glam but just winds up frumpy/so hideously ugly that it's kind of painful. To be honest, it makes me kind of physically angry, so I'm going to have to stop now. Also, why do I have a "hipsters" tag? Everything on this blog is a hipster fashion crime. You could say this guy is their king, but he's really just another minion.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Anyway, the top is hideous on its own, but then your eyes are drawn to the random belting going on, in the form of a huge elastic red waist belt that takes up half her midsection. (Supposedly, the belt over the blouse look is on its way out, but it's obviously not dead yet.) And in case all that wasn't enough, there's always a pair of shiny blue legging-looking pants to cuff above your socks and pumps combo. And why not top it off with a swingy leather purse? Those aren't really ugly/just old enough for hipsters to start wearing ironically again or anything.
In her interview, Sofia says she likes "simple clothes." I guess by "simple" she means "like what everybody wears, but more shiny and clown-like."