Wednesday, January 28, 2009

My New Shoes

I can't believe I got these 70's shoes on ebay for only $15. The woman who was selling them was also selling some platform sandals and said she wore them to several Van Halen shows before Van Halen was signed in 1977. Oh man, I bet everyone looked so awesome at those concerts. I love stuff like that. I also love these shoes! They're almost too good to wear. Check out the snakeskin details, wavy wedge and sky-high height! See, all those designer wedge oxfords from last year or whatever were just copies of 70's shoes! Take that, Marni or whatever!

Seal of Approval: Topanga and The Dish

When I created this "Seal of Approval" label I thought I was going to use it, you know, occasionally. But it turns out I never use it, except for Amy Winehouse two years ago. I certainly have never thought I would use it for a show starring Topanga, but, hey, this show starring Topanga is alright! It's on the Style network, and is kind of like a "The Soup" for the ladies, but without that grating Jim Carrey-like guy who is on it. Like Amy Winehouse's whatever music, I'm not going to endorse it the way I would say, David Bowie's crotch in these pants, but, you know, if it's on TV, you should watch it. It's pretty funny! Also, someone should give ME a show. The end.

PS: That's not her original nose, is it? (Topanga, not Katy Holmes. We all know Katy's is fake, fake, fake.)
PPS: That's also not a real youtube link. Just a photo.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Inspiration: Victorian and Goth

The last photo is of me attempting this look. You can't see my pin but it's Victorian and has children on it. (I'm planning on doing a Victorian jewelery post anyway later- and I bet everyone's excited!) It was accidently put through the washing machine but survived, which is a testament to the quality of old stuff. Normally I try to avoid posting photos of myself, but I feel proud I added this border, which I think has a daguerrotype feel. The dress is from the fifties, but the fifties were, in some ways, a throwback to the nipped-in waists and structured femininity of the late 1800's. It's a Lanz, which is a preppy vintage label I have always loved. Also that door is 200 years old or something so I am so vintage.

Can you guess which photo is of a post-mortem baby? You can't get much gother than that. The objects left behind by Victorian people would suggest they were obsessed with death, in a sentimental sort of way. My Victorian jewelery post will confim this! The stills are from Beetlejuice and 60's camp/cult classic Spiderbaby.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Hope 4 the New Year

As much as I would like to pool all my hope on our new president, my cynical nature and "ultra liberal" political leanings tell me that relying so heavily on an elected official, especially one who rose to the highest office possible, is both naive and unwise. (I still like Michelle though, especially her ballsy election-night outfit.) So let's stick to fashion, the failings of which might, at times, feel equally depressing, but, ultimately, lead to far less economic depression and global downfall.

Whilst browsing through the thoroughly entertaining Lookbook website, I felt the need to compile a list of trends that need to die with the new year. It wasn't hard. These are like all from the first page.

1. The sloppy layered scarf:

Especially this fucking scarf. Take off this fucking scarf already! Just stop wearing it, America!

I won't comment on the rest of the look, which is soooo early 2000s! Who knows what I mean? Who's ready for 2000s nostalgia??? Wow, what a decade.

How about every single trend on this pair of tools:

Let's count them!
2. Face paint- that's "tribal," guys! Speaking of being fun and ethnic, how about the
3. Afrika collection from
4. American Apparel?
5. Leggings as pants/entire outift.
6. Let's not forget they're still wearing those dumbass scarves
7. Bill Gates glasses
8. Friendship bracelets? Not the first we've seen, and sadly, probably not the last.
9. General 80's/early 90's fug.

Apparently this is the same girl, but here she's spicing things up with
10. Sally Jesse Raphael glasses and
11. A skirt hiked up over her boobs masquerading as a foul top.
12. Plaid! Who else loves plaid? Everyone!

What about this one?
13. That fucking beanie hat perched on the back of the head seen on several other photos in this post.
14. The huge 80's shirt worn as a dress
15. Not wearing pants.

Also, this girl:

I'm all for the neo-Debbie Harry look (obviously) but this crosses over from hipster to terrifying at some point. This girl will haunt me in my dreams. Is she seven? It's like, this is what it would be if pageant mothers tarted up their children to attract Cisco Adler instead of closeted Southern queens. Also, hello, Mishapes is over! Whoa, another early 2000s reference!

Unfortunately the Lookbook website wouldn't let me look at any more photos for some reason.

How depressing that the 2000s are almost over and there is pretty much nothing to define the decade, except for the rise of the $16 H&M sack dress, the realization that ipods are really attractive and that everything from homewares to candy should look just like them and the revival of the late 80s and 90s which is not so much horrifying because those were ugly times, but because we all know the mid-late 90s will be hot on their heels.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Jonas Brothers Vs. The Bay City Rollers

God it sucks how bands used to look so amazing and now being in a band just means you've found new ways to reinterpret the world tool.

Black Sabbath used to be an awesome band. I love how they are so "dark" that they're always posing in front of churches or in graveyards. So proto-goth, even though what makes them great is the fact that they are just dumb hard rock band. And, in the late 60's, Ozzy was actually pretty attractive:

And here is The Sweet, who had a cheeky, exuberant 70's glam persona. I'm so jealous of teenagers during this time period because this was like mainstream, bubblegum, teen idol-driven pop-rock of the time and it was actually good, unlike the Jonas Brothers of today who admittedly are pretty entertaining because they're dressed by brilliant gays who put them in skintight tuxedos, but nobody wants to listen to whatever pro-tooled piece of crap they pretend to play. I think there must have been a real obsession with glam Indians during the 70's, what with the Cher half-breed phenomenon and such, and everyone's preoccupation with feathers, leather, and "natural" things.

As you can see, it was a very crotch-focused time. Check out that metallic leather fringed loincloth in the second photo! When is Joe Jonas (whichever that one is, but i know it's one of them) going to show up in a metallic fringed loincloth? Come on, gay handlers of the Jonas Brothers! You've already got them in pointy shoes and sharkskin suits! Push the envelope! Here's a video of my favorite Sweet song, Wig Wam Bam. This is one of the best "live" performances I have ever seen.

Then there's the Bay City Rollers. They were the ultimate in 70's bubblegum pop, who, like, most boy bands, are really unattractive individually but somehow gained some sort of rare power over t(w)eens after being shown capering around homosexually in whatever ridiculous outfits was considered acceptable at the time. Of course, the BCRs, as they will henceforth be known, have some excellent songs, such as their big hit, Saturday Night. (They also inspired two Nick Lowe songs about them when Nick Lowe was trying to get out of his record contract or something, which are pretty funny.)

The Scottish BCRs could usually be seen in half-shirts, tartan jumpsuits, tam-o-shanters and huge platforms shoes. Dan has one of their records that has a photo of each of them with info under it, like their favorite colors, nicknames and waist measurements. (One confesses his biggest dislike is "cruelty to animals"; his favorite food, "well-done steak.")

That's pretty much it! Except that here are some more photos of Cher you should probably see:

Saturday, January 10, 2009

RiTS: Greatest Hits

I had a grand plan to do a two-yearly, Greatest Hits round-up, but this is as far as I got (though, really, there are kind of a lot here.) Here are some of my fav posts, according to category!

General Fug

Hipster Douche Category
The "Lanyard" Line

Feminism Category
Bad Art

Fashion Idealogy Category