Thursday, September 30, 2010

I Love Davie Bowie Forever

Fuck these modern times! Whatever happened to rock stars? We don't have them any more.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Ugly Urban: Side Boob & CK One

This strange skirt has a Halloween superstore vibe.

OMG I can't wait to wear this look for fall! I am literally standing in line at Urban Outfitters buying this shapeless greige $189 sweater and this sexy poly sheer maxi. Literally.

Here's another joyous looking outfit featuring that skirt, which I guess actually is wool and costs $170. Are people really going to be wearing these skirts? Really? I wish people were just wearing the shapely and awesome maxi skirts of the 70s instead, but those have too much life- the current hip look is all about not trying hard, not being coordinated, not wearing colors, and not looking fun.

Also, these looks really evoke 90s minimalism, which I am predicting may be the next hip thing. Like, maybe soon people will be wearing slip dresses and long gray jersey skirts with nary a print in sight. During those 90's minimalist times, they used to feature rich people's homes in Vogue magazine, and it used to be like a single chair in a room. Maybe that will come back too?

Hey little Indians, maybe it's time to give these tired ass "Navajo" prints a rest. Remember when the colonialist/hipster Indian look was all about mocassins and feathers and wearing a band around your head and then that trend died but then came this surge of "ethnic" prints to replace it?

$143 for this! And to think, you could just swathe yourself in one of those tan colored plastic grocery bags for free.
Gross! You can't combine the open back cut-out look with the saggy neutral drape look, because you just get something lank and vaginal. If you're going to have a cut-out back, at least look like an early 90's ho.

This is like the most undignified look ever. It differs from the other looks, because it's not so 90's and more sexy toddler. Also, like, are you seriously supposed to wear just a bra in place of a shirt and parade around in public? I hate how all these clothes are supposed to be incidentally sexy, not in a self-aware, empowered way, but like you don't even know you have side-boob.

Lenny Kravitz Wears Hooves

Hahaha. Ohmygod. Remember when Lenny Kravitz wore low-rise jeans and wraparounds? Now he is turning into a cliched neo-goth-fashion-gay type, even though he must be well over a million years old at this point. Also, remember when that song about how he wished he could fly up to the sky so very high was inescapable and everyone on earth was constantly subjected to it was also the worst song ever???? Nice drapey leather messenger bag, fool. What are you carrying in there, your ipad and some books of poetry?

Photos of Inspiration

Friday, September 10, 2010

Hooves! Hooves! Hooves!

The hoof looks especially great with something voluminous on top, or maybe in a pretty normal outfit like the last girl, for a dash of that "I don't know why I'm wearing hooves!" je ne sai quois. I know I posted some hooves in my last post, but I just wanted to make sure all my readers got the memo to wear hooves.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Gallery Of Looks I Hate

I guess it's unfair that I am judging people by how they are dressed, but I think it's kind of fair when it's people who spend so much money on their look, right? It's not like you can get that Google t-shirt for free.

Here's a tip: Cosby sweaters and trucker hats: they never go out of style.

Inspiration: 60's Kids

How come yuppie/Park Slope kinda parents always dress their children, who are named Noah or Wyatt, in crocs and cargo shorts? Do kids demand crocs by name? These kids look like total slobs! How about dressing kids, as well as yourself, more like a child or tween from the 1960's? Peg legged pants, converse high tops or Keds, simple windbreakers or striped t-shirts, this is a look anyone can and should have.

This kid looks awesome, check out the old school Pepsi bottle matching his t-shirt. Speaking of which, the simplicity of the 80's Coke/Pepsi logos was so cool. Now everything has a pumped up, airburshed look. If you think my love of old crap doesn't extend to the old soda logos, think again. In San Francisco, we don't have bodegas, we have corner stores, which always had signs with the old soda logos on them. Maybe I will do a post about it someday on Little San Francisco, that blog I never update about San Francisco no one reads!

Peg legged pants, Keds, and a t-shirt. And a bouffant!

This is more 70's, but whatever.