American Apparel Offers Another Timeless Staple

God, I hate American Apparel. From the constant defending of the company because "Like, they don't have sweatshops" to former CEO Dov Chaney's wacky hipster mustache and leering, perverse attitude/ advertisements, sometimes I feel like this brand was foisted upon the (young, hipster) American public as some sort of social experiment: Would they fall for it? $28 for a t-shirt? But of course!

Among their ugly, ugly fall offerings (They love the tunics and the sacks over at AA!) comes these gorge leggings, priced at a totally reasonable $38, even though you can get an actual pair of wool cable knit tights for cheaper than that. First, there's the colors. Lemon yellow and aqua blue: always wearable and lovely. Then there's the fact that that they're acrylic and cable knit. Good god! Acrylic is the worst fabric on the planet; it balls up and looks like hell after you've washed it once. Basically, I'm wondering where the sweatshirt is that goes with these beauties. I know what it looks like, because I wore when I was nine: It's oversized, white, and has large, multicolored puff-painted flowers on it. The flowers have mirrors glued inside, so they'll reflect the horror in the eyes of others. You might want to casually pose in this combo on your front steps with your new binder on your first day of fourth grade, as I chose to. The sad thing is, I bet some coked-out twenty-three year old has that sweatshirt right now, and is wearing it to MisShapes tonight.