Rip it to Shreds!: May 2009

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Take That, Zooey Deschanel

In response to this embarrassingly retarded trailer for the newest, twee-est indie romantic comedy, I made this parody, which I wasn't going to put on my blog because I was in it too much, which is sort of embarrassing, and the ending part goes on too long, but since the three people who saw it seemed to like it and I don't have any other post ideas, here it is! Sorry Dan who I forced into being in this in the first place!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Lots of Photos/Lots of Fun!

Who's ready to be unique this summer? Are you? Here are the ingredients for the recipe of creativity and everlasting cool:

1. Please note that bowler hats can be worn with pale blue 90's shorts, a blazer, a long shirt that you pretend is a floppy dress, no pants, and/or dominatrix-y shoes.

2. How about chambray? Everyone loves it now! Try pairing it with tight black leggings or shorts!

3. Add a dash of ill-fitting cut-offs. Also, don't forget your bowler or that horrible, huge, black fringed bag. They always look good paired with a striped shirt and dramatic pose:

4. Or a have I mentioned a huge t-shirt worn as a dress? With black tights? And oversized glasses? Which people I guess are still wearing? Yes?

5. There may have been a time when you would have been like, "Harem pants? What?" Get in the now! That time was so two years ago! Make sure your crotch area flaps in the wind!

6. If you've been waiting to wear leggings and a hat, and also shred your leggings artfully, don't delay: the time is NOW! PS: If you don't have a huge bag, make sure it's tiny and 80's! PPS: Don't forget your oversized chambray shirt!

7. This segues nicely into plaid! And more bowler hats! And more shredded leggings! And more 80's purses!

8. Leather jackets! Those are back too! And there's one way to wear them: with a stupid hat and quilted faux Chanel bag!

In conclusion, all you need to do to look GREAT is combine these unique looks. It's no accident that every single person in the world is latching onto them too; they're simply that great and timeless.

Friday, May 22, 2009

More eBay Auctions...Sorry!

Here is some of the stuff from my newest eBay auctions. There is lots of cute stuff, and even a Kelly Bundy dress that I feel no one will bid on! Soon I'll post normally again! I promise!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Cyndi Lauper Is Great

Sorry I haven't written a real post in a long time, but I'm moving and probably my next post will just be more eBay auctions. But, whilst watching the Girls Just Want to Have Fun video yesterday, I was overcome with a strong sense of love for Cyndi Lauper, and felt the urge to proclaim my love in this blog.

She's So Unusual is perhaps the #1 album I would suggest as a gift for young girls, not just because of Cyndi's amazing huge orange hair with a vintage dress with ten belts over it DIY fashion sense, or her sassy exuberance, but also because it's really great, including such songs as the aforementioned Girls, but also Yeah Yeah, I'll Kiss You, and She-Bop (a song about the universality of masturbation!) Of course, Time After Time always gets you where it hurts as well. Because of her image, I think people forget that Cyndi was also a great artist responsible for more than a few nearly-flawless pop songs.

Anyway, Cyndi Lauper is empowering in a fun, creative, weird, punk-rock-but-not-aggressive, good-time type of way, and of course she has since proven herself with her gay activism and wearing this outfit and such, and she had great style, the kind clearly untouched by the evil weave-and-veneers machine that would envelop every artist today should there even be an MTV station that played MTV videos. How sad that our pop stars were once so creative, talented and idiosyncratic. I didn't have a friend in high school who didn't want to look at least a little bit like Cyndi Lauper, and in these lank times, let her provide inspiration to us.