Urban Outfitters & Sea of Shoes

They currently have over eight pairs of harem pants on their website. The first pair aren't harem pants, but they are certainly "pussy gut" pants. This has got to be the most unflattering shape ever. Then the harem pantaloons on the bottom....I don't know. I don't know, guys. This might be the worst moment for fashion ever. Like, I hate almost everything about the 90's, but at least it was original the first time. You may want to check out some other selections to confirm this...


Ohmygod!!! People really will just wear whatever they see on other people they think look "cool", won't they? Only someone with no will of their own would actually purchase these shorts. This just makes me sad.

Urban's styling tip: Try a saggy gray t-shirt with a saggy gray sweater on top. Also, underneath wear those gladiator sandals that have a little saggy socklet attached. In gray.

Speaking of saggy...

I think I would probably cry if I was forced to wear this.


Urban sez: "Unlike our other Urban Renewal items, Urban Renewal Vintage pieces like this blazer come to you in their original vintage silhouette. Sourced from all over the map, each blazer is hand-picked."

Translation: You know how every thrift store is full of blazers from the 80's and 90's? Well, we bought a lot, probably for like 2 cents each since we're a huge company, did nothing to them, and now we're selling them to you for $48 each even though you can find them everywhere. But, without us, would you be able to figure out how fresh everything suddenly looks when you roll up the sleeves?!


Lastly, we have 17-year-old Jane Aldridge of Sea of Shoes blog, which is basically about her designer shoe and clothing acquisitions, most of which cost upwards of $500 each. As a young, blond/white, thin, designer-touting and incredibly wealthy teen (from "Trophy Club" Texas. 4 realz.) with that hip, DIY fashion blog edge, she is all the fashion world could want to represent them, and has been featured in a zillion magazines and such. Even though she is a teenager, all she ever discusses is going shopping in LA/Tokyo/Paris with her mother and naked avant-garde photos of Japanese models circa 1986. You can watch a video of her here, wherein they're like, "How does she afford these $9oo shoes? She's going to design her own collection!" as if that makes any sense.

Anyway, here is her some if her collection that she "designed" for....Urban Outfitters!


Why, it looks like all the shoes Urban Outfitters already has, which are copies of designer shoes! Dude, I mocked the now-strangely ubiquitous peep toe lace up boot when Factory Girl came out, and as for those studded ones, similar styles can be had, at Forever 21/every store that sells mini dresses to hos. They're just the same chunky, studded, cage-y platforms that are popular right now.

In conclusion, it's certainly interesting to see how fashion bloggers have been affecting fashion, but ultimately the fashion world gets to pick and choose which bloggers are going to be flown to France and design capsule collections, and they sure aren't the ones who don't worship certain designers or are interested in subverting the fucked up norms of the fashion establishment. And in the case of Sea of Shoes, they are the same young ladies who will get cushy internships at Vogue anyway- all they're being given is yet another head start.