Saturday, March 27, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Flamboyance: A Love Story
I Am Sick of Looking at this Bitch
Not that it really matters, but I am sick of looking at the face of Gerard Butler. Everyone keeps talking about how handsome and manly he is, but are they seeing the same face that I am? He looks like he got punched in the face one too many times. I hate how it's fine for male actors to have squashed noses and faces because it looks like they got in lots of sexy, masculine fights, but women can't even have a bump on their nose.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Mary's Musings: Jezebel, More Lady Gaga
I never used to read Jezebel, but now I read it all the time. It is a good go-to for gossip and news with a feminist bent. But then, I also get angry a lot by what I read there, because it seems to have an intense reactionary/normal bent as well. A disturbingly large amount of the comments are from grown women who write stuff like:
I will not share my dolls with you.
They are mine. All mine. You go get your own."
*stamps foot and pouts*
That is, of they're not busy writing really long, anecdotal, boring personal statements about their life that tangentially relate to the featured article, which is often not so much an article as a photo of someone from Gossip Girl on the street wearing a slouch hat with a pun title. Also, apparently people who comment there refer to themselves as "Jezzies." Anyway, here are some examples:
Adorable Children Do Adorable Thing
Specifically, they're recreating classic album covers, like that of Abbey Road. The kids, who are between the ages of 10-12, are cute as pie — but give me some toddlers doing this, and then my ovaries will really coo.
Even if you think babies and kids are cute, do we really need individual posts to point out how some child models are being used? Apparently for a Disney advertisement? Ovaries cooing? How essentialist! Sometimes Jezebel is one step away from just posting Anne Geddes photos, and what's horrifying is that all the commenters seem to totally approve!
Also, a lot of commenters were angry over the "fake homoeroticism", but it's not like Girls Gone Wild style, she's making out with a legit-looking butch lesbian, which serves a totally different purpose. Also, Beyonce looks so beautiful with baby bangs. Also, Gaga wears cigarette sunglasses that have smoking cigarettes on them, and her hair is rolled up in Diet Coke cans. Also, she wears a telephone on her head made of hair. Also, the women's prison scenes are awesome. You must be made of stone not to appreciate this shit! Especially when you are appreciating seven year olds reenacting the cover of Abbey Road. The Beatles suck!!!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Shameless Post About Models! Part Two
Anyway, here is my continuation of model posts. This is hot bitch Kristen McMenamy , who had of an androgynous/Sandra Bernhard thing going on. I think there is some story about her where she busted into a room without her shirt and started screaming at someone famous. She fits in with the Gen X 90's post-Supermodel era, which rejected the drag-queen-esque, big haired supermodel for quirky andogyny and an overall more weirdo look. This is when CK One commercials were, like, so hip:
Kristen really is so fierce, and wears the clothes in a way that today's batch of bashful coltish teens certainly do not, kind of like a snotty 1950's style model but with a real face and personality. It always seems like bullshit to say one person is "good" at modeling and another isn't because it mostly seems like standing there, but with her, each photo is like a direct, confrontational challenge to the viewer. Also, she was styled in a way that highlighted her butch elegance, even though she was not a "lesbian model" like Jenny Shimuzu or even a lesbian in real life. She is one of the models I liked when reading Vogue as a kid, and often had a close cropped bowl cut dyed black accented with black lipstick.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Move Over, Dockers
I actually have nothing against this dress, except that it's length is so babyish. Why is everything a puffy little skirt? Maybe it's because I'm old, but I find it degrading to dress like this. At least a tight mini pencil-style skirt puts it all out there. This seems like it should be worn with pom-pom socks and a Skip-It.
Here's a fun little number. It kind of looks like the print is of bats, and then that would make this item worth having. But it's just a sad 90's floral or something. I love the extreme side-part on the model's hair- dynamite! This whole thing is explosive!!!
Here's another non-dress with a non-style, except that it's sort of 90's looking, or I guess, on closer inspection, really 90's looking.
Pleated khakis! See, Dockers is trying so hard with their new ad campaign about how if you don't wear Dockers you're gay, but what they don't realize that they shouldn't have changed their designs and just stuck with the pleated khakis that they're known for, because that's hip in it's own way too. But don't wear them non-rolled up, because then everyone remembers that they are pleated khakis.
Here we have the "flutter" short. Good god, these are so fugly. I remember wearing stuff like this. They make your butt look terrible, and it's unsettling to wear pants so flowy. These would be worn with scrunch socks and Keds; they are more 1993 than 96, you know?
I'll close with this darling dress and the fugliest floral ever. Also, I think this is a different model but she also has an extreme side-part.
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Fashion Harness
Here's a woman who really doesn't know why she is wearing a harness. Why is it draped over a wool blazer? Awkward.
Then of course there are the harness necklaces stolen/copied by model Erin Wasson from some other harness maker:Even "designer" Justin Timberlake featured some harnessy looks for "his" "collection", entitled "Urban Oufitters from Two Years Ago."
Loving this look! Sag crotch jeans with a shapeless top made from a hospital dressing gown, all wrapped up in a bunch of belts!
I'm sure I could find more harness photos, but am too lazy. I know why harnesses are popular. It's because everything right now is studded, cage-like, bondage-y and "fierce." And a big part of attaining this edgy look is wearing the same edgy looks everyone else is looking so edgy in. Why are you sitting there, reading this??? There are harnesses to be bought and then strapped into!