Patricia Michaels

I was sad Patricia Michaels didn't win Project Runway this season. I watch PR because I love the creative process- selecting the materials, constructing, and watching it all come together. Of course, a lot of people end up constructing garments that look like they could be hanging in Zara, but still, you know, talent and craft.

Patricia is an extremely talented textile artist and she made most of her own fabrics, or modified them dramatically. She is Native American and considers her work part of her heritage, though she communicated this primarily with her work (and was definitely one of the nicest, best-adjusted contestants on the show.) It was very touching when she gave her speech on the finale, partially in her native language. 

I can see why she didn't win; her work was less commercially viable and some of it was a little artsy/off-trend. Plus Nina hated her. However, Patricia was responsible for so many amazing, fashion-forward looks that she actually created out of her own hands. Her clothing was unique and exciting.

And lastly, she was not boxed in by trends. As it was often stated on the show, Patricia's inspiration came from her, not anyone else. 

All the paillettes on this dress...she made them out of mica, hammered them and everything!!! The headpiece is dyed horsehair. The way it bobbed down the runway was really captivating.

Hand-painted leather jacket.

Her avant-garde look for a challenge.

Handmade eagle feather scarf.

Anyway, best of luck to Patricia. I see no way she can't have won a zillion fans and potential customers through the show. The fashion world could use more designers like her.

Shameless Post About Models! Part Two

First of all, I think it's too bad that the best word ever- fierce- has been co-opted by Tyra Banks and Christian Siriano, former Project Runway winner and current Payless Shoe Capsule Collection designer. Well, mostly Christian Siriano. Tyra did bring an authentic version of the word to the public light.

Anyway, here is my continuation of model posts. This is hot bitch Kristen McMenamy , who had of an androgynous/Sandra Bernhard thing going on. I think there is some story about her where she busted into a room without her shirt and started screaming at someone famous. She fits in with the Gen X 90's post-Supermodel era, which rejected the drag-queen-esque, big haired supermodel for quirky andogyny and an overall more weirdo look. This is when CK One commercials were, like, so hip:

Kristen really is so fierce, and wears the clothes in a way that today's batch of bashful coltish teens certainly do not, kind of like a snotty 1950's style model but with a real face and personality. It always seems like bullshit to say one person is "good" at modeling and another isn't because it mostly seems like standing there, but with her, each photo is like a direct, confrontational challenge to the viewer. Also, she was styled in a way that highlighted her butch elegance, even though she was not a "lesbian model" like Jenny Shimuzu or even a lesbian in real life. She is one of the models I liked when reading Vogue as a kid, and often had a close cropped bowl cut dyed black accented with black lipstick.

Anyway, here she is on the runway lately and she looks awesome though she was forced to wear a humiliating 2010 outfit.

Edited to add more pics, including the Nijinksy and Leigh Bowery-esque one (way more Leigh Bowery than the much debated Lady Gaga, anyway!)

PS: Poor Naomi Campbell. Not really suited to the grunge photoshoot, was she? Speaking of which, I remember that photoshoot and cover and I thought it was so cool and totally inspirational.

Question the System, Man!

(Assorted nonsensically fug looks from SP 10!!!)

I find "fashion week" SO boring. Every fashion week, I think about how I should really check out the fashions because I love fashions and all, and then I go to style.com and I try to find a designer I sort of care about and then after clicking through twelve pages and then I get angry that these people are designers and why am I not famous and why are people applauding sheer tights paired with a crushed velvet crop top. Notable exceptions include Alexander McQueen (RIP) who I always answered as my "favorite designer" if forced to choose, as well as the occasional Dior/Viktor and Rolf/Gaultier runway. These designers seemed to appreciate the showmanship and performance elements associated with fashion, and created generally much more interesting clothes and runway shows as a result. (Maybe will find some photos if I'm not too lazy, which I probably am.)

Much of the clothing presented is not interesting enough to be art or sensible enough to be wearable, and then if you don't "get it" you just aren't "intellectual enough" to quoth Dan. I think many people feel validated when they "appreciate" designer clothing because it's such an exclusive world, and proclaim their worshipful love for it accordingly. But it seems like only .0001% of the population actually pays any attention to the quality of fabric and/or the quality of tailoring, and they are the only consistently "better" aspects of designer clothing in my opinion. There are so many outfits sent down the runway that just don't make any sense. The emperor's new clothes, people!!!

Also, I hate how everyone has to send their look down the stupid runway because everything has to be viewed monolithically and standing alone instead of in an actual context like clothing/art should be. It's like, if you are a designer, wouldn't your goal be to costume a play or a movie instead of making $12,000 dresses that hang in Neiman's that poor people can't touch? Why do they want to see their clothes on generic models on a gray runway? Why is that the ultimate validation?

Fugliest Shoes EVER!!!

Whilst browsing through Simone's Elle magazine featuring new pre-spring fashion shows or whatever the hell is going on right now (plus an article about Beyonce where she is referred to simply as "B" because I guess she doesn't go by Beyonce anymore? Is this true?), I came across this page, and I literally gasped in horror at the supreme fugliness of the shoes in the collage below. (Simone scanned it in for me, as these shoes are just so "latest five minutes" I couldn't find a style.com photo.)

Yes, all these shoes are fugly. In case you haven't noticed, the way to create an of-the-moment shoe is to start with a really massive platform, and then start gluing random shit to it. Maybe some metallic, or some fringe. Pyramid studs? Yes, please! Oh, there is some extra space near the toe! How about a chunky chain-link strap, or maybe a dangling robot charm? I think the Rodarte shoes mentioned in this post fall neatly under this category, as do the Louis Vuittons and Pradas also in the collage, and the shoes I have selected below.



But let's get down to the really, serious issue, the blue satin monstrosities in the lower left corner:


To quote the way screams were written in the Babysitters Club series, Aughhhh!!!! It's a blue satin platform espadrille in front- so, it's shaping up to be fugly anyway, because espadrilles are usually ugly and it doesn't make sense to pair the casual, ratty-looking rattan sole with a glossy, fancy fabric, and also the toe and platform (of the moment! of the moment!) are gross and huge and weirdly square, but the really scary part is how, once the back of the shoe is reached, the rattan disappears and we have a spindly, shiny black heel. And ballet strap lacing! Why?! It's like this shoe is the mutant, deformed child of two ugly shoe parents.

God, Marc Jacobs, I can't believe I used to like you! And now you have a Spongebob Squarepants tattoo and design shit like this. He needs to stop working out and get back on the coke and stop Mystic Tanning and start wearing vintage Mickey Mouse sweatshirts with Converse again.

Old Marc:

New (actual photo of Marc Jacobs/not image from gayhotornot.com):
PS (Edited to ADD): I can't believe I wrote this entire post neglecting to mention that Simone literally VIP partied with both B and MJ during her highly glamorous trip to the star-studded Miami art thing, Art Basel. Also, she saw Mystery, Matador, and his various people from The Pick-Up Artist! And they were talking about "the game!" Also, the ho who won Paris Hilton's BFF, whoever that is! God, that is several, several steps up from the Paul Giamatti* sighting I recently had in NYC, am I right? PPS: *Bitch looks no better in person!

WTF: Rodarte

As I have said in previous posts, designer fashion often just seems like a big hullabaloo over nothing. One of the hottest-right-now lines is Rodarte, designed by sisters Kate and Laura Mulleavy. I remember when Rodarte first came out and their photos started appearing in Vogue and stuff, and I used to think, "Wow, I wonder how these two normal-looking women feel about working in the evil fashion industry?" Fitting with my last post, how did they feel about designing clothes they probably couldn't have worn? Well, apparently, Vogue magazine challenged them to lose weight. And, not surprisingly, they did.

That all being said, I don't really get the whole thing. For instance, these shoes, from their new spring '09 line: To me they look like the same big, ugly shoes that everyone is wearing, but with Claire's jewelery stuck to them:


Or this shapeless blue satin dress:


Or this all-cream outfit:

You can see the whole spring '09 line here.

All I have to say is, I would like to see Beyonce in the following spring '09 Alexander McQueen outfit:

Gallery of Ugliness

I know I said I was going to write a post about my room and the fire and all- and I will- but right now I’ve just decided to post some real ugly stuff I’ve seen on the internet.

First of all, there’s this top by Joie, which is a very ugly brand that I guess people in LA wear or something- it’s like the kind of designer stuff that would feature such things as a satin cargo pant. This top is really foul- it really looks like she’s pulled a sheer skirt up past her boobs. Also, the model has the appearance of a baby bird and it’s interesting to me that the look on her face and her overall pale, bony appearance is supposed to sell this horror show of an outfit, but I guess it is.

PS: When I was little, we called this hairstyle, with the top pulled back but not all of it, a "chicken tail." That's what you would tell your mom you wanted. You could also get pig or pony in terms of tails.

Next we have this turquoise dress, which truly is satin with cargo pockets. I remember when cargo pants got really popular, and I longed for a huge pair in army green. Then I got some from Old Navy, and as far as I remember they were unflattering to the point that even I felt gross wearing them. They didn’t have butt pockets, and I felt that made them somewhat inadequate.

Anyway, cargo pants are one of those things like cheongsams/”Asian” style clothing that we are told is hot every few years. Lucky magazine is always trying to get people to wear slouchy rayon cargoes and whatnot. The cargo pockets on this particular piece look really wrinkly and saggy, and the dress, well, it certainly has a lot of pizazz.

Then there’s this have a poly/microfiber mini skirt from American Apparel. You may or may not know what that is, but trust me, you don’t want to wear it. This kind of looks like it was made out of a tent. Does anyone remember how when they went camping in the 80’s with their parents and all the gear was bright orange and this color brown and your dad still wore tight jeans because the 70’s weren’t that far away? Most people’s dads also still call all jeans “Levi’s” or “blue jeans.” I’m sure now all camping stuff is fleece or that bright yellow they make underwater cameras and it’s all totally lost its charm.

If someone fashioned this skirt out of a tent from 1985, I’d be pretty impressed, but since it was actually made in the here and now, well, it’s hideously ugly. You don’t show off an elastic waist like that, and the bubbly shape and putrid color is sure to be unflattering.

Lastly, we have a look from the runway of Henry Holland, the genius responsible for those Frankie Says Relax rip-off shirts that everyone was into for ten seconds (except me.) Oh man, I cannot believe this guy has access to an actual runway and models and materials and money! Look at this sweater! It’s like he thought, “Well, those shirts were popular in a loud, late 80’s, extremely derivative way, how about doing that same thing with knitwear?” And the purple plaid pants and lace-up shoes! This is such a Baby Sitter’s Club outfit it’s unbelievable. Also, the model looks like she slept on a park bench last night.

Diatribe Against Sacks #158

Dear Reader(s),

So I haven’t posted in a long time because my room burned down, and then I was going to do my first post with before and after photos of my room, and a lot about how deeply, deeply ironic it was that I, of all people, had to lose my stuff, because most of it was part of a vast and varied vintage collection, and I had like 120 dresses or something, as well as stuff that I can never, ever get again, and certainly not for that price because eBay is totally through the roof with the prices right now, like who else is buying these early 1940’s dresses and bidding them up because I certainly never see anybody wearing them, but whatever. Most people could just go to H&M and replace their stupid clothing, but I would have to spend my time looking in attics abandoned during the Depression.

The point is, we had a fire, which is also what I always use as an excuse now for not doing something, as in “Well, of course I haven’t sent out that form yet- we had a fire.”, but the insurance people are going to fix up my mother’s house that I shouldn’t have been living in anyway since I am 24, and they are also giving me a really, really large amount of money for all the things I lost. So even though I will never be able to get back some of the things I miss very much, I guess I can at least afford some overpriced replacements. (Though there are some items that make me pretty bitter when I think about them, but more on that later.)

So I do promise a post about fire and fashion soon, but, in the meantime, I’m just going to review this Marc Jacobs collection Naira pointed out to me. This is for his more expensive line, not the Marc by Marc line which was also really ugly. It’s supposed to be neutrally slouchy and vaguely vintage inspired like all his collections are now, but I don’t know why he bothers with these vintage references anymore.

The above look is a good example of that. The jacket kind of looks like 1940’s men’s leather jacket, and the pants kind of look like a Katherine Hepburn-ish 40’s pleated pant, but these looks have been echoed throughout the 80’s and 90’s and the pants, at least, everyone is doing now because people are trying to get away from skinny jeans.

It’s very hard to do “slouchy” as a look, as it often just looks sloppy and shapeless, which is kind of the theme for this collection. The look to the right, with the hideous floppy gray pants and the muted sweater that says "HARDCORE" for some reason (wouldn't it be more accurate/funny if it just said BORING or perhaps BLAH...?) is accompanied with a mauve bag. Everything has about as much color and creativity as the chairs you wait in at the bank. To me, it's unfathomable that you could design anything you wanted, out of any materials, having access to every resource in the world, and then come up with this.

What’s annoying about Marc Jacobs is that he seems to be consciously rejecting the colorful, playful exuberance of his earlier collections by designing so many beige woolen sacks, but it’s not like he’s being revolutionary. Everyone’s designing sacks and pleated pants in muted colors. In his effort to change, he’s just become like everyone else. Also, he’s supposed to be designing like three different lines so he probably doesn’t do anything anyway, except for Zone diet and talk about his newfound love of health, over-tanning and closely cropped hair, ie, looking like a stereotypical gay.

Whoa Oh Oh, Good-bye Seventies!*

Sometimes I think people who don't like vintage don't like it because they go into vintage stores and just see a bunch of mustard polyester. The truth is, there's ugly vintage too- it's not as if everything made thirty years ago is automatically cute.

Most of Marc Jacobs' collection seemed based on this type of vintage, the kind that isn't really quite cute enough to be interesting. Whereas he used to be inspired by interesting vintage (40's puff sleeved blouses, 60's Peter Max-esque psychedelic prints, 70's granny dresses) today he just seems to imitate whatever dull, boxy 70's piece fell within his line of sight. That, or add some large buttons or oversized zippers to something.

The spring 08 collection is rife with such pieces. There were a few cute looks, also pretty much rip-offs of dresses from the early 70's (but at least less ugly ones) but the majority was like the stuff above- totally lacking in what I might call "pizazz". Ooooh, he stuck some different fabric on it! He added an extra row of buttons! The hemline is asymmetrical! Besides, Chloe already did an ugly patchworky early 70's rip off collection in the same muddy colors.

What I want to know is, why are designers copying looks that we can find at vintage stores- almost any vintage store? In fact, I found plenty of similar stuff on eBay in about five minutes- (go here, or here or here or here) most of which is much cuter than whatever foul mustard box with random faux 70's fabric attached to it Marc Jacobs is trying to put you in this spring.

*"Props" to those who get the reference made in this title!

An Intense Review of the L.A.M.B Show: I Sort of Discuss Fashion Week!

L.A.M.B.'s tulle dress from the fall shows (left) looks quite a bit like Alexander McQueen's on the right (from a few seasons ago.) However, while McQueen's version is beautiful and well-executed, and accompanied by interesting hair and white-faced that makeup that is ghostly and interesting and 17th century inspired , Gwen Stefani's looks like a sloppy homemade prom dress. I don't know if she was trying to cinch in the waist there, but if so, she definitely failed. Her makeup and hair choices are pretty boring, with a slight continuation of the hot-right-now cat eye and some sort of biggish messy hair.

While there are a few cute (if not particularly inspired) looks in her collection, the "ska" vibe mentioned in the style.com description overall kind of reminds me of a "retro" Airwalk ad from 1996 that I can't find. (Who remembers those? Simone?) and then some of the looks are just dismal. Plus, my god are these models skinny! I mean, I'm pretty used to horribly skinny models, but my god!

Wherefore Art Thou, Marc Jacobs of Olde?

I used to looove Marc Jacobs. He was a designer who didn't take himself too seriously, got inspired by (or, perhaps "ripped off", but still) vintage styles, and was responsible for a million trends- big buttons, fifties-style party dresses, tromp l'oiel, a return to mod that occurred before the current return to mod. I used to covet multiple Marc Jacobs pieces every season, and there are still a few I wistfully think about. There was the luxe LV line, the slightly cheaper namesake label, and the "diffusion" label Marc by Marc Jacobs that sometimes sold things I could think about buying, if they were on sale. (The look on the bottom left is Lily Cole wearing Louis Vuitton in one of my all-time favorite runway outfits, only a few years ago.)

However, Marc Jacobs doesn't design like that anymore. First, his Marc line became a tired retread of stuff he'd done before- hey, another vintage inspired coat with big buttons, but uglier! Then his runway shows really started to fall apart- well, in my opinion. For instance, this Spring 2006 look, while much heralded in Teen Vogue, really signalled the beginning of the end for me. Soon it was all saggy turtlenecks and pleated jeans and that layered collection everyone liked so much even though it included a floor-length denim skirt.

The pictures above (click!) are an example of the new Marc, a collection I might call "extremely frumpy" or "I can see how you were trying to do an early 80's YSL/40's thing but it failed." The look on the right reminds me of the long, shapeless rayon shirtdresses people wore in 1996, particularly with that fascinating black leather belt. The middle look, the puzzling sequined blouse with collar/shapeless black maxi skirt, neither plays the two pieces off each other well nor fails to make the wearer look like a slightly flashy 75-year old virgin. The last look seems to be nod to 40's era Joan Crawford-esque power suits, but efforts to "modernize" it have simply made it depressing. In fact, if there's one word to describe Marc Jacobs new collection, it would have to be "depressing." That, or "frumpy."