Seal of Approval: Michelle Rodriguez

I'm always happy when Michelle Rodriguez shows up in a movie, even though she usually gets killed off because she's not the main heroine- she is, after all, too butch to be the main heroine. Mouthy, surly, and tough, as she herself says, Michelle doesn't play the delicate, easily-offended girlfriend. It's kind of like she can't, because her own personality always seems to come through. Sure, she doesn't have a lot of range, but the character she always plays is a great one.

As a fan of the action genre, it always sucks to see the female characters getting sexily raped or almost raped, spending the entire movie captured/stuffed into car trunk/in coma/tied up, crying pitifully, or needing constant rescuing. In a perfect world, Michelle would be the own star of her own (totally gay) big budget action movie, with lots of explosions and murders and no panty shots.

Sayeth Michelle:

"Well, could you really imagine me playing the girlfriend that needs rescuing? Or the girlfriend?"

"I don't want people thinking of me sexually. I don't want people to be like, 'She's hot-looking,' you know? I want them to listen to me for what I am saying. And I think the best way to do that is to sniff my armpits, and like, sit and burp every now and then. It just completely throws people off.

Seal of Approval: Adam Lambert

Like everyone else, I now love Lady Gaga after the masterpiece of "Bad Romance"...but what really blew my mind was American Idol Adam Lambert's insanely gay performance last night on the American Music Awards!!! This was absolutely the first time I have ever seen such "classic" homosexual imagery within the context of an openly gay performance on a major awards show! He dragged some guys in bondage gear around on a metal leash! He kissed a guy! Simulated oral sex which sadly was edited out of the West Coast Feed! Whoa!

Apparently it "shocked" many- prompting a commentor to say "I can see why America is embracing Taylor Swift. She is sweet and pure. I didn’t understand it before, but Adam helped to put all of that into perspective." Another referred to it as "degenerate" and "sick." Many people said they wouldn't want their kids watching, as if this was the first "inappropriate" performance on an awards show-but think how great this could be for older teenagers who really are confused about their sexuality and see something like this validated, even in a theatrical way?

Yeah, the song was pretty bad, and the singing was more Broadway-esque than anything else, but it was more about the spectacle. It seems that though we have seen as much from scantily clad-eighteen-year-old girls appropriating this type of sexuality in order to appeal to men, it's okay, but when it comes to a gay man camping it up in the same way, it freaks everyone out. I think we are so used to gay performers consciously trying to avoid addressing sexuality, or to only embrace the most mainstream of mainstream to not alienate anyone, it is nice to see such an obviously brash/trashy/bawdy tribute to it. (Additionally, everyone has sat through countless performances wherein clearly gay backup dancers dance suggestively around the lady-star, so it was nice to see backup dancers be what they usually are, which is hella gay!)

Anyway, I have to agree most with Entertainment Weekly critic Ken Tucker who said, as a TV viewer, he totally disagreed. "I thought Lambert's performance was a gas, a delight, a blast of brash vulgarity in the midst of merely ordinary vulgarity," he wrote Monday morning. "Lambert was an event unto himself. The song he was singing was beside the point — and the point was, 'Here I am, Adam Lambert, freed from the shackles of 'American Idol,' I'll push this dancer's face into my crotch if I feel like it, isn't it funny to lead human beings around on leashes, and can you believe how high I got my hair to stand up under these lights?' "

Anyway, perhaps someday we won't have to talk about performances like this one as if they represent all of gayness, as they obviously don't, because we will have lots of representations of gayness in all it's forms in the media and blah blah blah, but for now, at least he did it loud and proud.

Seal of Approval: Dancing with The Stars/Beth Ditto

I guess I'm a little late on this one, but Dancing With the Stars is kind of an amazing show. I always heard about it, and was like, "This is the most European concept ever," which it totally is. But it's kind of amazing because it, unlike every other show on TV, is so straightforward. All these "stars" (Aaron Carter!!! Wooooo!!!) have to learn a complex routine with another person, put on a ridiculous outfit, and dance their heart out. That's it. No one gets special treatment (well, the guys don't have to wear heels and wigs and dresses, but at least they have to wear high-waisted pants with a matador jacket and no shirt) and they all just seem, so, well, eager to please. Clearly this is the highest of high camp (especially that one supergay judge), but no one is acknowledging it because they're too busy dancing. It hearkens back to another, simpler celebrity era, when we expected our stars to be all-around entertainers who acted, sang, did impressions, told jokes, tap-danced and smoked a high-tar cigarette all with a smile on their face (That clip is so cool! There is a guy with peg-leg break-dancing for serious. Why is tap-dancing by far the best kind of dancing?)

It's like, what do celebrities really do these days (besides coke?) Nothing! But not on this show! Doesn't it kind of make sense that we expect these people to be skilled at something? And even though the people on DWTS aren't especially talented, at least they're trying. There's something so...humble about it!



I'm still rooting for Kelly Osbourne after all these years, too. Plus, she did do a dramatic dance to "Crazy Train" with crazy hair. And Ozzy came to watch her. I was touched. She seems pretty cool on that show! Apparently she's a crowd favorite!


Secondly, my second Seal of Approval is also kind of late, and goes to Beth Ditto, after I watched this style.com clip of her. Like many hipster feminist types, I first saw The Gossip way back in the early 2000s when I was but a teenager, and it was like, "Here's this fierce cute fat girl who takes her clothes off [in an aggressive/nonsexual way]! Wow!" (It was also like Wow! because we had just seen The Donnas. Remember them? They sucked.)

Kind of like seeing Kelly Osbourne on TV though on a far grander scale (Kelly Osborune was, after all, mostly pretty annoying), it was pretty mind blowing/empowering at the time, so the fact that Beth is actually Famous now is really cool because she is a completely, completely different role model from every other famous pop star today- describing yourself as a "fat feminist lesbian" who grew up "poor" and "butch" on a website owned by Vogue is the kind of thing we need a lot more of. She also seems to really love and appreciate fashion in the outsidery, all-encompassing way that it should be loved. And she is one of those rare people who is managing to affect (however small) amount of political change through art, music, fashion, etc., without being preachy or boring. She also seems to love novelty prints- just like ME!!!!

Should Beth Ditto go on a special episode of Dancing With the Stars? In a word, yes.

Gee, my posts have been so warm and fuzzy lately. Maybe I will go to Urban Outfitters today.

Seal of Approval Again: Chelsea Handler

In the one post I've done on women in comedy, I neglected to mention Chelsea Handler, and her new late-night talk show, Chelsea Lately, airing on the E! Network. Chelsea Lately combines a typical late show format with a roundtable discussion and a hearty dose of bitchiness.

First of all, I hate stand-up comedy. Not to generalize or anything, but stand-up comedians are all bitter men with inferiority complexes who tried to buy into some patriarchal version of manliness and failed and are now trying to make it up in a pathetic bid for "crass" popularity.* Then they all get older and fatter and start talking about their kids and their wife and even if that is also "crass" I personally never want to hear about anyone discussing domestic shit like that. Also, as someone who's always aware of awkwardness, stand-up comedy is just so awkward, and everyone attends stand-up shows because they know they will laugh regardless of what the joke even is.

So, at its core, stand-up comedy often seems to be about proving oneself in an often "masculine" way. And what is interesting about Chelsea's show is that she sets up/makes jokes and then the other comedian panelists have to come back with something equally funny, and then she often shoots them down. She is almost always the funniest person on the show (in part because the guests are so often that tired and typical stereotypical stand-up guy) but her sense of humor tends toward the quick, dry and bitchy instead of the desperate, lame set-up style so often seen in stand-up. (Though Chelsea is actually a stand-up fiend and does it constantly despite also having the show.)

Also, Chelsea is a genius interviewer. As anyone who watches late-night shows, usually the guest comes out and the male host talks about how much he wants to do her and then she tells this totally quirky story about slipping at the food court at the mall that didn't happen and hahaha. But Chelsea is mean and probing! In one of the first interviews I saw, she asked Jodie Sweetin about doing meth.

In conclusion, I would not call Chelsea Lately perfect. Too often, her panelists are so lame, they ruin the show (seriously, I should be a panelist! Let's do a letter-writing campaign!), and she was also nice to Katy Perry. When Elizabeth Berkely was on, she was mean to her but she couldn't get a word in about Showgirls because Elizabeth acted like she was on Oprah the whole time. But overall, she certainly gets my seal of approval for sure.

Here are some youtube clips of Chelsea Lately:

1. Making fun of vests

2. Interview with T.I.

3. Chelsea on Cribs

*Alright, obviously there are some okay stand-up comedians, but this is the general format. Also, have you ever even watched Lenny Bruce onstage because that shit is totally dated and unwatchable. Sorry!

Seal of Approval: Topanga and The Dish

When I created this "Seal of Approval" label I thought I was going to use it, you know, occasionally. But it turns out I never use it, except for Amy Winehouse two years ago. I certainly have never thought I would use it for a show starring Topanga, but, hey, this show starring Topanga is alright! It's on the Style network, and is kind of like a "The Soup" for the ladies, but without that grating Jim Carrey-like guy who is on it. Like Amy Winehouse's whatever music, I'm not going to endorse it the way I would say, David Bowie's crotch in these pants, but, you know, if it's on TV, you should watch it. It's pretty funny! Also, someone should give ME a show. The end.

PS: That's not her original nose, is it? (Topanga, not Katy Holmes. We all know Katy's is fake, fake, fake.)
PPS: That's also not a real youtube link. Just a photo.

Seal of Approval

I have to say, it's impossible to hate Amy Winehouse. Like, really impossible. Sure, her music is pretty blah and most of the time her 21-inch hips are stuffed into some boring outfit that looks like it came from Aeropostale by way of Crackton, but I tell you I don't care. The way she looks like a homeless B-52 and her hair is five feet high and looks like it is hiding buried treasure and her teeth are fucked up and she has her real nose and her eyeliner looks like a five year old did it and I'm always reading stuff like, "Amy Winehouse reportedly told the BBC to 'piss off'" or "Amy Winehouse left her VMA in the bathroom," well, it's all pretty endearing. I mean, I know supposedly she's a drug addict, but so is everyone else and they never do it with such style, you know?

PS: This title comes from, when, in high school, Naira and I would give the "seal of approval" to people we didn't hate. Not very many people received the seal, so it was a rare honor. Probably like ten people got it or something. And they all should have got tattoos and formed a secret society of people we kind of liked, but not enough to be our real friends.

PPS: Also, Gaby saw Amy Winehouse in an Aldo last summer- class! That's all.

Slamming It To the Left/Having a Good Time

People are always criticizing Victoria Beckham's outfits. Yes, she's wearing a cropped jacket, leotard, sheer hose, platforms and motorcycle gloves. Sure, her boobs are in danger of colliding with her rather fearsome-looking clavicle. So what? The woman poses like so many drag queens could only dream of. She and her asymmetrical hair are really taking it to the hoop, and I, for one, would much rather look at pictures of her than any other horribly emaciated starlet out there. Unlike Ginger, or Scary, or Baby (though who knows what happened to Baby?), Posh is still holding true to the Spice Girls aesthetic, lifestyle and dream. Girl power indeed!