Showing posts with label vanity fair blows. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vanity fair blows. Show all posts

Friday, April 12, 2013

Classic RITS- Mary's Musings: Ladies in Comedy/Take That, Horatio Sanz

Hey dudes! I've decided to "recycle" (or wait, let's call it "upcycle"; nothing obnoxious about that word) some classic Rip it To Shreds posts. I enjoy rereading them from time to time, and perhaps you will too! Now, a post about Comedy from 2008.

I started to read this Vanity Fair profile of Tina "The New American Sweetheart" Fey, and like three-quarters of the way through it, I realized it was entirely, entirely about the way she looks. She used to be 150 pounds! Ohmygod, so fat! And by "fat', we mean normal but of course that's unacceptable and she'll never be on the cover of VF half-nude! That scar! We have to know! But now she wears low-cut tops and Seven jeans and looks "like a really pretty graduate student!" Not old, guys! Kind of hot! She and Sarah Palin are both "hot librarian" types! Guys, she's smart and funny and PRETTY, did you hear? Inititally she was told she wasn't hot enough to be on SNL, haha! Keep in mind that's a show that featured Horatio Sanz! Then she went to Weight Watchers! Steve Martin used to ignore her but hit on her after she lost weight! That's fun and flattering, right? Not gross that an accomplished, talented writer and comedian can only get attention for being hot, right?

(By the way, Rachael Dratch was supposed to play Jane Krakowski's role on 30 Rock, but was nixed for not being hot enough. Also, whatever happened to Cheri Oteri? Also, is Jimmy Fallon really getting a late night talk show? Really? Is he going to start cracking up at his own weak delivery? Maybe bust out the acoustic guitar and forget some lines? Oooh, I hope Horatio Sanz will be involved. Have we heard from him since that movie with Cuba Gooding Jr. where he pretended to be gay on a cruise ship? Snow Dogs?)

At first, I was like, "Obviously a dude wrote this," but of course it was actually Maureen Dowd, who is one of those weird writers like Camille Paglia who are labeled as feminists but have dubious cred and kind of seem to hate women- Dowd, of course, once accused Al Gore of being so feminine (because he cared about the environment!) that he was "practically lactating." And, of course, Vanity Fair is a totally obnoxious, sexist magazine that I have always hated, long before I actually read the editor's letter about women not being funny. Which I did read, and not that many people seemed to concerned about at the time.

It barely needs to be said that funny women are rarely represented in comedy. Mostly they are the sexy girlfriends who roll their eyes at their hilarious manchild of a boyfriend (hey second coming of Seth Rogan's career), or, if they are in a romantic comedy, or tween comedy, they are the sexy but prat-fall prone hapless moppet, someone charmingly clumsy but with perfect hair. And then, the real female comedians are few and far between, and can rarely match the success of their male counterparts. And, of course, if they do, they are constantly subjected to an in-depth examination of their looks and/or massive amounts of airbrushing.

Anyway, I could go on about how I hate Sarah Silverman's ditzy "I am five years old" delivery (hey, even if you're making a "funny" pose, you're still just posing in Maxim in your underwear) or how we are sadly lacking the salty, older-woman comedy stylings of such luminaries as Phyllis Diller (up there in the yellow) and Joan Rivers, but what I'm really, really trying to say is that Amy Sedaris should be more famous, not only because she is hilarious and unique, but because she is one of the few comedians who actually challenges what it means to be a woman in comedy, and does not rely on being cute or airbrushed to make her point. And, unlike other female comedians who still try to hard to entice their male (and female) fans, she actually makes an effort to fearlessly gross people out, which seems to be one of the number one of- limits topics for female comedians, because it shows that you are more than your boobs and/or your potential hotness. At the same time, Amy does not deny that she is a woman and women are funny; she just celebrates ballsy, overlooked female archetypes in a way that distances her own looks from her characters, at the same time illustrating that women can be just as loud, campy, revolting, sexual, and funny as any other comedian.

PS: If you're not familiar with Amy Sedaris, I'd like to recommend both her TV show, Strangers With Candy, and her book, I Like You, which is a take-off on retro household hints types books. Speaking of which, I am obsessed with retro household hints-type books and will be doing a post on them soon!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Tom Ford= Douche

Tom Ford, former head designer of Gucci, is seen here posing for Out magazine. I personally was never a big fan of his work, which was characterized by minimalism, lots of black (as well as extreme overuse of the plunging v-neck), obscene advertisements, and various "sexy" looks. See, what is so neat about Tom Ford is that he is gay but he loves to objectify women just like straight men do (and I guess all the other gays in the fashion industry as well, but Tom Ford is especially known for it.) You may remember him from the repulsive Vanity Fair cover he orchestrated, showing him fully clothed (Dude, it's okay because he's gay!) fondling two naked actresses young enough to be his daughters. (Props to Rachael McAdams, who actually bowed out of this shoot when she saw what it was all about.) I fucking hate Vanity Fair and its misogynistic editor in chief, Graydon Carter, and this sort of crap is pretty typical of them, and every time I look at that magazine I feel like writing an indignant letter of some sort.

Anyway, everyone loves Tom Ford because he's so hot and masculine and grabs his crotch and objectifies women, even though he has been balding the same amount for like ten years so he clearly has hair plugs. Below is a quote he said in the same Out spread.

What the fuck? He understands women because as a gay man he understands what it's like to be pursued- ie, be passive, or in his words, "an object?" I can't believe people can just say stuff like this in a supposedly "progressive" magazine, and just have it pass. Of course, Tom has the best of both worlds, because, as a gay man, he also gets to be "the aggressor." How nice for him! He manages to straddle the line between stereotypical maculinity and stereotypical feminity so very well! He probably relates to women because sometimes he feels weak, but to straight men because he sometimes feels strong, too!

PS: Trademark stubble? So lame.

PPS: Ohmygod, I hate Tom Ford so much more just after a basic google image search: here, here and here are some good examples. I can't believe he literally walks around with his shirt unbottoned like this! He also refuses to smile and looks like Jeremy Piven. The end.