Designers Love Little Kids

Above are some fashion ads (and one editorial) starring the Fanning sisters for Marc Jacobs and actor Hailee Steinfeld for Miu Miu.

Fashion designers act as though they choose very young teens for their ad campaigns because of each girl's innate style and unique, muse-like ability to inspire them- when, clearly, the real reason designers like children is because they represent a coltish, unsullied female ideal (of course, most women can tell you that, as a very young teen, they felt neither coltish nor unsullied.)

These young ladies fit right in with the current (current meaning several years, but it's not like fashion has come up with anything new lately) fashion model, who also has a distinctly un-womenly look, and is usually put out to pasture before her teens end. Perhaps we remember Gemma Ward, whose distinctly childlike look catapulted her to fame and then disappeared once she grew into a less childlike body?

Not that all this is new; we all know models are young and it's not like you can't find equally creepy photos of young Brooke Shields. But designers act as though the young girl's agency and not her childlike looks are the reason behind her newfound modeling career. If the deisgners were really into the fact that these young women are actors, maybe they would ask them to do something in these photos instead of look scared, big-eyed, and limp.

At least the first round of Marc Jacobs photos with Dakota Fanning emphasized the fact that she was a hammy little kid playing dress-up (speaking of which, god Marc Jacobs ads are fug with their deliberately "undone" look):

Whereas, for round two, she is just your run-of-the-mill Lolita type with a perfume bottle between her legs:

The fact that these girls are supposed to be talented actresses comes in second to their position as highly styled pubescent fashion plates. Ideally, we would find young women inspiring, but not because they look so baby prostitute-like when they peer out sexily and vacantly from behind a pricey purse, but because they have other, real talents to offer. Also, girls of this age are supposed to be wearing two different-colored Converse, which they Sharpied on themselves, not getting their hair and make-up prepped for six hours by some stylist.

Sea of Fug Shoes

I think "monstrosity" is probably the best word used to describe the monstrosities that are currently in vogue.

Dandyism: Better than Cargo Shorts

Ever unpowdered, unperfumed, immaculately bathed and shaved, and dressed in a plain dark blue coat, he was always perfectly brushed, perfectly fitted, showing much perfectly starched linen, all freshly laundered, and composed with an elaborately knotted cravat.

- Barbey d'Aurevilly, "Du dandisme et de George Brummell

That Purple Rain poster was very hard to find a photo of, which is too bad because Prince's suit is epic and was clearly custom-made for him, though you can kind of see the metallic paisley and big buttons. Not that if you are reading my blog you haven't looked up close at that poster before anyway, and are also obviously well acquainted with the naked shower Prince poster too.

This image is too small, but trust me, this shit is graphic!

Once dandies were part of our culture, and though we have some modern day dandies, they are much more rare. It seems a lot of guys these days are attempting a modern dandy look, with rolled up skinny jeans and little oxfords, but what they don't know ---and all those seen in the photos above clearly do--- is that dressing like a dandy means nothing without an eye for quality, fabric, and fit. All of these we have certainly have lost the ability to recognize, but people were probably much more aware of when most clothing was handmade and meant to last. Black men of an older generation seem most likely to be dandies these days.

People can't afford bespoke suits, but you don't need bespoke suits to be a dandy. Anyone can starch a shirt. Austin Scarlett, a consummate dandy if there ever was one, amazed me on the first season of Project Runway with his morning ironing routine. The best thing about this look is the effort put into it. It's a perfectly studied flamboyance, as opposed to the flashy and trashy flamboyance I also heartily approve of. It's the opposite of what modern dressing is all about- throwing on some harem pants/pajamas/shants and a beefy tee featuring an off-color reference. Dandies do not wear wraparound sunglasses or flip flops. They tuck in their shirts. Today people don't really have any easy way of learning about clothing even if they wanted to. It's not like you can take a trip to your local department store. There is something intrinsic about the way a true dandy dresses. They have a deep understanding of what they are wearing, an understanding so few people seem to have. "Masculine" attire need not be broad and frumpy. Today's Men's Wearhouse style suits feature clingy legs and boxy blazers, but we can do better.

In conclusion, study the photos of these dandies. Look at the cut of their shirts, their well-coiffed hair, and the ease with with they wear these clothes. This tailored and covered up look is hella fine, but does not rely on conventional good looks to make it work.

Photo Key Which I am Usually Way Too Lazy To Do:

1. Man in the perennially blighted Mid-Market district of San Francisco

2., 3., & 4. Clearly Prince.

5. Katherine Hepburn

6. Fred Astaire in a dandy-inspired number

6. Frida Kahlo and family

7. Josephine Baker

8. Portrait of Una Troubridge

9. & 10. Oscar Wilde

11. Radclyffe Hall

12. Noel Coward

13. & 14. Andre 3ooo and also Big Boi but he's not the focus here, though his suit is cool too

15. Don Cornelius, who I couldn't find better photos of

16. Austin Scarlett outshines non-dandy Tim Gunn

17. & 18. These are the type of David Bowie photos I would paste on my locker in high school. Damn, this was good look for him.

19. John Waters

20. & 21. Marlene Dietrich

22. Yves St. Laurent

23. David Bowie

24, Quentin Crisp

PS: There is a show on Lifetime with Austin Scarlett and Santino from Season 2 where they road trip around and make dresses for non-fancy people and it's pretty amazing!

Ugly Urban: Making Sweatshirts Matter

Urban Outfitters is collaborating with a fresh batch of designers- designers with names like Wood Wood. Speaking of Wood Wood, let's see what Wood Wood has to offer!

I like this model because her face seems to be saying it all, and there isn't much more to say than "Damn, this is ugly."

This is by "Stolen Girlfriends Club" which is kind of like the name of a Beat Happening song, except Beat Happening would have rejected the corporate machine that produced this sweatshirt, preferring instead a baby tee with a sharpie cat on it worn by an underage girl. Says Urban Outfitters: The rules of New Zealand's Stolen Girlfriends Club: a youthful rebellious spirit, a healthy sense of humor and the ability to entertain and make things matter. Talk about meaningless drivel! Here they are making a gray sweatshirt with fringe matter, and all for the low low price of $234. It is really in the style of the 80's/Jerri Blank fringed shirt, already mentioned here.


This is called a Yeti bolero because it is reminiscent of the famed snow monster. This dynamic piece, $234, is paired with saggy high waisted pants. Everyone is wearing the short shorts version of these pants this summer, making it the summer of the saggy ass.

It's pretty hard to imagine someone paying $200 for this. It seems like an insult to people in war-torn countries who wear stuff like this because they have no choice.

Too bad I can't manage to paste in the back view of these Shakuhachi Cold as Ice Sweat Pants, which are $248, because it's a doozy. Why are young people today doing this to themselves?! Those band-aid colored shoes aren't doing this look any favors, either.

Here's another gem by Wood Wood, a "pullover sweatshirt...topped with a ghostly graphic at the front." I love when the fronts of things are topped with stuff, especially when the ghostly graphic is a leaf with eyes on it. Am I missing something here? Something this sweatshirt is topped with seems off....but what?

Fashion Victims & Their Medical Supplies

The harnessed and hobbled high-fashion S&M look is so right now. Everyone loves the studding, bondage, and S&M connotations, but it has little of the homemade original punk/goth look- instead it's all about the controlled, artsy, cleaned-up designer version. Kind of like Lady Gaga (Everyone's over her, aren't they?) if Lady Gaga had no flare. It's weird because this look is supposed to be so "edgy" and dark but really it is much more Vogue magazine, and much more sanitized than your classic leather-daddy wear. Also, this look is very big in New York right now, especially with the fashion gays. People just love to be unique in the same way, you know?

Speaking of edgy, check this out!

A fashion image of image of a model wearing a leg brace and orthopedic shoes, the kind for people with one leg shorter than the other! I think this is so brave and daring of them, and so compellingly erotic at the same time. What I am wondering is: When will Raf Simons make the $8,000 version of each of these pieces???

Here is a harness by "Skingraft," because skingrafts are like totally sexy and edgy, at least in theory, right?

Let's let these photos speak for themselves.




This is designer Raf Simons. I think he's responsible for this shit. He certainly looks responsible.

In: being skinny (transgressive), being pale/white, wearing white/black, shaving the sides of your head, bowl cuts, gladiators, girls who look like models, guys who look like female models, looking lank, flash photography, neautrals, poncho capes, hoods, mesh, low cut tanktops, a twist of the early 90's hip hop, sloppy shants/harem pants. Wearing a single earring.

It's like everyone's misplacing their flamboyance, and wants to be dramatic and interesting but doesn't know how. What will these people be wearing when this look is over? I think many of them were probably "nu ravers" (remember them???) not long ago. Anyway, everyone in New York is such a fashion victim and everyone thinks they look great and also came up with their great look on their own and did not first see it in Nylon magazine or on a hundred other people!!!!