70's Teens: Shants are a Tool of the Patriarchy

I really love photos of 70's teenagers hanging out, looking surly. I love how 70's everyday teen fashion was so simple and androgynous; everyone wore tight, leanly fitting clothes and had long hair; it is such a comfortable and cool uniform. It really is more egalitarian to dress like this.

Lately I've been thinking a lot lately about how BS it is that men's clothing got so oversized in the past 20 years and how men can excuse themselves from fashion and it's "okay." It's such bullshit how men can look like slobs because it's fruity to dress well in clothes that fit. Fuck that! I hate how even artsy, pretentious guys think dressing well is womanly and worthless. It's like, if you are interested in aesthetics, why don't you start with not wearing basketball shorts? Speaking of which, modern basketball attire is another fucking crime! Could this 70's look be any more hot/ awesome versus the modern look of baggy, shiny shorts hanging down to mid-calf? Maybe I would be interested to watch a basketball game, were these the uniforms.

Back then, it seems like it was cool to be foxy and a little femme to be a guy, to blow dry your hair or shape your afro and primp. I always think of the great scene in The Virgin Suicides (whatever to the movie itself) where Josh Hartnett saunters down the high school hallway in slow motion to the sound of Magic Man by Heart.

That left a real impression on me.

If only everyone had just one or two pairs of tight-ass bellbottoms and a striped t-shirt and cars were huge and sleek and beautiful (I love old cars; they have a lot in common with clothes) and you rode around them and turned on the radio and Kiss and Alice Cooper and Fleetwood Mac were playing. I wish shants had never been invented. And also 99% of the styles of clothing we now wear were never invented.

I Love Simon Doonan

After hearing Barney's creative director/writer/witty commentator Simon Doonan and interior design guru/Top Design judge Jonathan Adler got married, I was filled with a rare sense of happiness for them that rarely occurs at a wedding. Even though I obviously hate Top Design because it's totally boring and just features boring people raiding some Pier One-esque warehouse to arrange stupid furniture in boring room, I have nothing against Jonathan Adler, and have always appreciated his bright color combinations both in the home and on his person. Simon Doonan, on the other hand, I totally love. In an age when it's super-popular for fashiony gays to sweep into people's lives on TV and "fix" them, Doonan has always advocated for quirky, personal style and celebrating who you are instead of looking trendy, neat, plastic, and boring.

Here's a great quote by him on plastic surgery: "I am completely opposed to it. I understand it with performers who might want to extend their careers, but the whole concept of being antiaging (sic) is very questionable to me. Regular people torturing their faces, it's nasty. Learn to glue on false eyelashes. Don't become Jocelyn Wildenstein when you can be Louise Nevelson." (Photo of sculptor Nevelson below)

On fashion designer Donna Karan's new age tendencies: "Donna Karan, who spends more time casting runes than casting fashion shows." (Bitch names names! Love it!)

On accusations that Marc Jacobs' [The MJ of olde, I assume] clothes aren't sexy enough: "Shouldn’t he be given some kind of Bella Abzug feminist-empowerment fashion award for helping girls to say no to “ho”?"

On Disco Bloodbath: "It is the best book I have ever read."

Should this not impress you, check out the photo gallery on his website, featurning some pretty amazing drag. Doonan encompasses everything I love in a celeb: sarcastic, bold, witty, and committed to fabulous, with the all-important dose of not-taking one's self too seriously. Todd Oldham, Amy Sedaris, Simon Doonan, and Jonathan Adler (all connected, in some way) should invite me over for a dinner party at their house. That is my dream. I hope he and Jonathan Adler live out the rest of their lives in intense, hilarious glamour.

40s and 50s Novelty Print Swimsuits

Summer is sort of almost over, but vintage novelty print swimsuits are eternally wonderful. You may have already my many other novelty print themed posts, as they are some of my favorite things. Why novelty prints are no longer considered acceptable for nice clothing these days baffles me. Should prints of telephones or household items be relegated to pajama fabric? No, I say. They're capable of so much more.

This delightful swimsuit is decorated with that classic summertime pastime, the barbeque. I recently bought a set of glasses from the 50's with a very similar pattern.
Pretty fantasic!

This is for a young kid (see, we've always sexualized female children!) but the unusual shape and ruching is really what made me save this photo. I personally wouldn't categorize floral as a novelty print, unless the flowers had eyes.
This amazing swimsuit makes me think of hanging out in the Deco part of Miami in the 40s, wearing flowers in your hair and big platforms. Obviously it's weathered a few storms, but I think the detail on this suit is pretty amazing and unique, like the pink ripples the flamingos are standing in.

Yeah, that's right. This swimsuit has RECORDS all over it. The color combination and print almost looks 80s, but that's just because the 80's copied the 50's a lot. Also, unfortunately a kid's suit.
And lastly, this glorious suit, whose print you can't really see, but whatever. This had shooting stars all over it, and is pretty much the swimsuit I would have murdered somebody to get in high school. I did not win the auction, though I probably should have as this swimsuit is worth its weight in gold to me.

Icons and Role Models: Betty Davis

I appreciate negativity and all, but now I feel it's the time to do one of my more positive posts, and that is is about Betty Davis. Betty released three funk albums in the 70s, including a self titled album, They Say I'm Different, and Nasty Gal. She's known for being raunchy and forthright, and though it's unlikely she would be considered quite so "nasty" had she been a man singing the same words, her candor, sass, and grinding growl of a voice are still ahead of their time today- consider songs such as "If I'm in Luck I Might Get Picked Up", or "Don't Call Her No Tramp."

It's always a rare performer who can "own" their sexuality- good examples are early Madonna and Prince- both are people who got in trouble for being too direct, dirty and crass. Artists like this are millions of miles away from the various "sexy" perfomers and pop tarts who are continually thrown in our faces; they, instead, project agency and control when singing about these things, and that seems to be part of what freaks people out. (Not to go too much on a tangent here, but even though I personally did not buy that album/never will, I thought Christina Aguilera's off-parodied Dirrrty or however many Rs it had was a good example of this too- it certainly wasn't dirrrrtier than whatever Brtitney Spears was doing, but the fact that she called the shots and seemed so genuinally into it obviously distrubed everyone.)

If I was to attach an MP3 to this post (does anyone want to teach me how to do that?) I would pick her excellent "Game is My Middle Name."

And, perhaps unsurprisingly, Betty Davis looked really awesome. She had the sort incredibly glammed out/space age funk thing that was popular in the 70's (which deserves a post in of itself, really) but also this amazing 70's tramp look with short shorts and whatnot, plus an afro which is a hairstyle I have always been fond of. It's a look that many could not pull off or put together well, but she really manages.

Wow, look at this cover! Covers like this alone are worth having records and not CDs so you can actually see the often amazing cover artwork and photography. Anyway, this shows that funk-space-glam look really well. The back of this onesie like thing flips up to a sort of Egyptian headdress, which is visible on the back of the album. Also, maribou trimmed platform turquoise booties- yes!

Everything about this outfit is 70's, from the high-waisted short shorts to the tied up floral shirt to the turquoisey jewelery to those silver platform boots. (It's kind of Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver, you know?) God, don't you wish you were a teenage girl in 1973 so you could put up a poster of Betty Davis on your wall and style yourself after her?

How I Wish I Was a Victorian Orphan

While regular vintage clothes are all well and good, there is a special place in my heart reserved for vintage children's clothes. No, not because they’re all wee and stuff and make me wish I had a baby to force into bonnets and pantaloons (as we all know, my official stance on this is "whatever"- though if I did have a kid I probably would force it to wear a tiny Victorian suit), but because I really wish they were my size. I have bought the occasional fat children’s dress on with mixed results- but I’m always hoping to find some dress overlooked because it was made for a twelve year old that I can squeeze into. Also, once I forgot to bid on this 50's girl's skirt with a Bambi print and I'm still upset even though it would have perished in the fire like all my worldly goods.

Anyway, vintage children’s clothes are amazing because they have the charm, fit, and quality of vintage but often with a little dash of crazy thrown in. Super-adorable novelty prints and details like big buttons or embroidered collars abound on vintage children’s clothing. PS: For more, check my flickr!

Wow, I can see Pippi Longstocking in these, which are probably pre-1920's.

I know this kind of looks like something a hipster would wear today, but it's a 1950's boy's shirt.

Chloe seriously ripped these off. Look how high they are in back! What design!

Though this appears to be a charming-enough Victorian little girl's dress, take a look at the close up:

That's right, it has skeleton keys all over it. Ohmygod I want to wear this dress, and probably deserve to, but it is unfortunately made for a child. It's just the gothest, most Secret Garden-y dress ever.

Boot Season is Upon Us

Wow, aren't these boots nice? I guess the color combination is sort of weird, and I kind of would prefer if the brown was white, but I love the cap toe! So vintagey! They'd look great with a full skirt. They are by Steve Madden, but they're his fancy line, so they're actually by "Steven Madden" for added class. Remember when Steve Madden shoes never cost more than $60 and were always platforms? How times have changed. Steve Madden also got indicted semi-recently. In case you are wondering what he looks like I found a picture. Ugh.

Am I crazy, or are these awesome? They look like a combination of those orthopedic shoes old ladies used to wear but don't seem to much any more, and something really mod, like they were just made to be worn with a double knit, blocky 60's dress, like this only less ugly. I can't imagine these being too hot of a seller, especially since they are patent.

PS: I really called the whole "bootie" craze of aught-seven with this post, didn't I? Everyone knows all those booties are just copies of styles made in the 30's and 40's, right? Right?

Taking it to the Hoop, in a Good Way

After my last negative post, I felt the urge to post perhaps the original "I liked it": Bjork's swan dress from the 2001 Academy Awards. Asked to come and perform the song she recorded for her film, Dancer in the Dark. Anyway, the point is, she wore an insane swan dress and the American media was like, "What a fashion nightmare! It's totally a 'don't!'" Of course, the Oscars are pretty much there to celebrate mainstream symbols of status/wealth/beauty, and Bjork was using the platform as a type of performance art- particularly noticeable in the picture at left, where she "laid" her egg-shaped purse on the red carpet by dropping it.

Anyway, it's pretty sad that everyone didn't get it and all, and it's still talked about as if it was some sort of big fashion nightmare, but truly, it was awesome. Fashion icons as creative and strange as Bjork are unfortunately few and far between. And the Oscars, as it gets more and more driven by stylists and boring evening gowns, is pretty damn boring. This is, after all, the venue where Barbra Streisand once wore a sheer, glittering, bell-bottomed tuxedo and Cher once wore this. Of course, both these pictures were found on some "Worst dressed Oscars" list because these looks are so simply unflattering and uncouth! I mean, they could have dressed like this!

Fashion Icons and Role Models: The Town Whore

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that there used to be performers and musicians and singers who used to dress totally out of control and it wasn't "ironic" - from David Bowie to Prince to Grace Jones to Cher, to even Motley Crue/pretty much every hair band ever. (Even though like half these people just ripped off their look from somewhere else [There's one point in The Motley Crue biography Gaby lent me where Nikki Sixx is like, "I was on top of the world, making more money than Johnny Thunders ever was!" as if this wasn't directly proportional to him also being a million more times of a tool than Johnny Thunders ever was] they were definitely superior to the weak-ass version of rock bands today who always have one modelish member who stands in the front wearing v neck t-shirt while every other members hang behind their shaggy hair, mumbling about how they want to be like Mick Jagger or whatever likes there's not ten zillion other bands like them who pretend they're doing something really fresh.)

Anyway, my point is, I'm starting to feel we are reaching a highly styled, glossed over, and non-individual time where there may never be another Dolly Parton. Dolly has always said she's modeled her look after the town whore- the woman she thought was the most beautiful as the child, who had the biggest, blondest hair and tightest, shortest dresses. I love this, because, I too, as a kid, wanted to look like the women I thought were beautiful, even if they were Naomi from Mama's Family and Kelly from Married With Children. I mean, I thought Loni Anderson from WKRP in Cincinatti was really beautiful, and still sort of do!

Women like Dolly Parton practically invite drag queens to imitate them, and they certainly emphasize how much of femininity is simply a show- a big, sparkly, bewigged one. When people say they can see my hair from down the block, I feel, in some small way, that I am carrying on the tradition of a proud and glitzy trashiness, one that is miles away from the glitzy trashiness of, you know, Fergie. (Though there have to be some people who do Fergie drag, right? I mean, besides Fergie.)

Of course, Dolly is so much more than a fashion icon; she's an extremely talented musician and songwriter whose written numerous hits for both herself and others. In a time when few female artists wrote their own music, Dolly did. Unlike the cheesy country of today, she comes from the grand old Grand Ole Opry tradition, with artists like Hank Williams and Loretta Lynn and the Carter Family. According to wikipedia, Dolly grew up "dirt poor" in a one-room cabin in the Great Smoky Mountains of Tennessee. Her father was a "holy roller" type Pentecostal preacher, but Parton professes no denomination, claiming only to be "Spiritual" while adding that she believes that all the Earth's people are God's children. Plus she is rumored to be a lesbian, and that those long sleeves she always has on and her huge wigs are there to hide a bunch of butch tattoos and a shaved head. Whether this is true or not (it is), what's important is that someday Simone and I are going to go to Dollywood, her theme park, and it will be the greatest day of our lives.

PS: I highly suggest you to click on the photos to make them big, especially this last picture of Dolly Parton and Cher, which makes me really happy.

PPS: I thought the silver thing in the right hand bottom corner of that last photo was like a chair or something, and then I realized they were just Cher's knee high silver pirate boots. Oh man.

The Little Tramp, but Not in the Lindsay Lohan Type of Way

Whenever people post photos of inspirational outfits, it's always seems to be of lank girls clad in gray and skinny jeans, or of Mary Kate, perhaps the original lank girl in clad in gray and skinny jeans (though for awhile she was doing this sort of whacked out/goth/Stevie Nicks thing that I sometimes found kind of endearingly over-the-top.) Why does inspiration for people who are "into clothes" always seem to come from things that are already trendy?

Anyway, I recently saw Charlie Chaplin's City Lights, a movie filmed in 1931. While I usually love the women's clothing in these movies (and it was indeed adorable), I also kind of felt the urge to dress like Chaplin in his tramp persona, with his fitted plaid waistcoat, baggy pants, too-tight cutaway jacket, and little cravat. (Plus the thick black eyeliner that men always wore in old movies! With a three piece suit, no less!) I love how everything looked battered but went together so well and fit in such a specific way- and there's something so crumbling and dandyish about this look, which I love. Not to be all

"derelicte"/upper middle class, but come on, even the homeless used to have a better sense of aesthetics.

Admittedly, I don't think I could pull off this look, and think my general fear of vests won't help, but I did remember I'd saved some awesome pictures of Shalom Harlow in a Chaplin-inspired photoshoot. She looks a lot awesomer than if she were wearing a saggy American Apparel t-shirt and those oversized glasses everyone has that fill me with rage, you know?

Aesthetics, or Why Is Everything So Ugly?

Today, there are few things uglier, or more wasteful, than the appliance. Everything is encased in dull gray plastic, and even when brand-new can't be expected to last very long. Things are made to break, to be disposable, and once they are disposed of, they sit in a landfill, never decomposing and looking ugly and plastic and leeching into groundwater forever. However, this wasn't always the case!

Until not so very long ago, things like household appliances were made not only to be beautiful and well-designed, but to last. Instead of making something that would break and then be replaced, it was assumed that things would wear well and be repaired if broken. (Today, it's the opposite- it's almost never worth it to get something fixed, when you can just buy a new one.)

This is the case with numerous old things- clothing, automobiles, furniture, and more. But it particularly struck me in regards to appliances simply because today they really are so cheaply made and unbearable to look at. Look at the hearing aid to the left, as streamlined as a 1930's tuxedo- or the wooden radio up top, with its cleverly designed deco-esque speakers and warm wooden finish, or the truly gorgeous green portable typewriter- today I try to hide my radio out of sight, but these things were designed to sit on a shelf and look just as beautiful as anything purely decorative. It looks like someone put time and care into creating then, not as if they just came out of the same mold as everything else.

More than anything, I find this disposable phenomenon depressing. One might hope, with the current "green" fad and new focus on environmentalism, things might change. Personally, I just feel sad that this attention to detail and aesthetics has gone by the wayside, creating a throwaway economy that will leave behind a pile of ugly plastic garbage.

Quite a Hat

Hats used to be like little sculptures that sat on one's head, decorated with net veils and little stuffed birds and faux flowers. I can only imagine a time when a woman would out on a suit and add a charming little hat, not for warmth, or to protect her hair, but to add a little zip and elegance to an outfit.


However, wearing hats today is difficult, as they can look a bit silly and pretentious, and most people choose instead to wear the dreaded newsboy cap or the surprisingly trendy (but usually douchy) bowler. But this young woman has put together her outfit very well, adding a neutral colored but slightly insane 40's printed hat to her pretty ensemble. The colors echo that of her dress, which I don't think is vintage but has a vintage-inspired shape, and her bright red accessories, all of which are super cute, echo the strong graphic statement her entire outfit makes. Kudos to this lady for not bowing to the current trend of sacks and nu rave and garments with Micky Mouse on them, and instead create an eccentric and charming look of her own.

Best Shoes Ever.

I found these 1940's shoes on eBay a couple years ago, and they weren't my size, so I didn't bid on them. But sometimes I think about becoming a shoe designer, and these shoes would definitely be one of those styles I ripped off and pretended was my own ( though maybe I'd make the toe slightly rounder) because they are totally amazing and strange, a cross between a boot (a bootie?) and an oxford, they'd look equally great with pants or a dress. However, I imagine them with a 1940's suit, a la The Women, and a crazy 1940's hat, kind of like this one, but crazier.

Trends Done Right

Despite being on Face Hunter, I think this young lady looks very cute, and manages to incorporate several trends in a fresh and charming way.

I'm generally not a big fan of the trench (maybe it's my hatred of beige) but this collarless one, with it's puff sleeves, button detail, and a-line cut make it look like a cross between a dress and a coat- and much more shapely and delicate than your usual frumpy trench.

And even though I've never liked pointy shoes (a dying trend, finally) the way she pairs those mary janes with bright yellow tights looks really mod and adorable. I wonder what she's wearing underneath the trench? I picture a little black mod dress, which would also go great with her angled bob. While her outfit has some trendy aspects, it's far from the slave to fashion look all over that website, and she makes her look her own. So, you know, I don't hate everything.