Face Hunter Latest 'n Greatest

What is the point of wearing a floppy, depressing zebra print jumpsuit? A zebra print jumpsuit should be worn with a classic rock -like panache, not as another boring sack. In fact, that's the problem with all these jumpsuits! Like their flirtier cousins, the onesie, jumpsuits should only be worn by those who understand their inherent tackiness. PS: Nice bowler hat!

Here are some ways to wear an animal print jumpsuit, from Heavy Metal Parking Lot, which you should probably watch right now if you haven't seen it:




Onto some horrendous floral jumpsuits for suburban moms from 1993. Seriously, I had a third grade teacher who told me her favorite show was Home Improvement (which horrified me even at the time) who my called a "fruit." This is what she wore. Also, I have a soft spot for Doc Martens and all, but maybe it's time to give them a rest, particularly in this context. 

The next two fall under the category of, "Is everyone blind?" A beige leather (or is it more of a puce?) t-shirt with peach colored spandex leggings with yet another pair of open-toe booties? Why do these thing go together? She looks like a band-aid.

Here's another really bad 90's thing that I guess is coming back: long floral skirts with no shape and ugly patterns. If she was wearing a white t-shirt with this skirt, whatever. But a black mesh dominatrix-y top? And a big Palestinian scarf? And a straw 90's mom purse? How or why would these things go together? 

Lastly, The Face Hunter says, "'This is the piece 'In an Absolut world , you can ask for anything' that I created for the Visions exhibition in Munich.' Um what, this is the piece? You mean this topless girl holding up a piece of binder paper over her boobs? You don't need an "absolut" world to make this happen, dude. Lots of women take their clothes off to make money to buy clothing, among other things. And judging from the way most of the people on Face Hunter look, you can pretty much dive into any pile of discarded crap and come out with a worthy outfit. You know, as long as you look like this in the first place.

Some Musings on Silk and Crotch Bulges

I've had these photos saved for a long time, but have not done a post about this yellow silk jumpsuit until now, despite it's extreme awfulness. I think it's from Topshop, and it's a real throwback to a simpler time, aka 1989.

>What it really reminds me of washed silk, which was this stonewashed silk that was really popular around 1994. My mom had jewel tone pieces in turquoise and magenta in this awful fabric, which had a sort of dusty, stonewashed quality to it. In fact, I owned a pink washed silk vest. Why would you buy a silk vest for a child? Or, for that matter, multiple silk vests, which is really what I had? This jumpsuit isn't really washed silk, but it is silk, which is a fabric that really had it's last heyday in the 80's. People are always trying to tell you that silk is really valuable, but obviously it got devalued or more mass-produced at some time in the 80's, and now silk is no longer a marker of quality and is sold at Target (though it is a much nicer fabric, than, say, polyester.) I wonder what a silk fabric factory is like, and if it is really full of silkworms?

Anyway, back to this terrible jumpsuit, which is very, very Dressing Sexy, that 1980's fashion advice book that tells you to wear harem pants and jewel tone silks and saggy camisoles also in silk because it makes men with mustaches think of the boudoir instead. (Please click on the "Dressing sexy" label below for that particular post.) This is something that could easily be found in a thrift shop but is being produced new- despite its horrible, saggy, paunch-producing baggy front. Like, do people purchasing the "new" pleated pants not see the above-crotch bulge? Is it a point of pride or what???