Inspiration: Victorian and Goth

The last photo is of me attempting this look. You can't see my pin but it's Victorian and has children on it. (I'm planning on doing a Victorian jewelery post anyway later- and I bet everyone's excited!) It was accidently put through the washing machine but survived, which is a testament to the quality of old stuff. Normally I try to avoid posting photos of myself, but I feel proud I added this border, which I think has a daguerrotype feel. The dress is from the fifties, but the fifties were, in some ways, a throwback to the nipped-in waists and structured femininity of the late 1800's. It's a Lanz, which is a preppy vintage label I have always loved. Also that door is 200 years old or something so I am so vintage.

Can you guess which photo is of a post-mortem baby? You can't get much gother than that. The objects left behind by Victorian people would suggest they were obsessed with death, in a sentimental sort of way. My Victorian jewelery post will confim this! The stills are from Beetlejuice and 60's camp/cult classic Spiderbaby.

It's That Talentless Girl from The Hills! And She Looks Like Blossom!*

Here is a great example of a trend overload, on immensely talented performer/nose job recipient Ashley Tisdale. A bad trend overload. Now that all those trends that used to be reserved for the hipster set, from the "Indian inspired" Minnetonkas and Pocohantas bands to an overuse of scarves to oversized glasses to old lady purses, to huge men's v-neck t-shirts, have been taken up by all the preppy girls, the only way you can even tell a hipster from a standard mall JAP these days is the Mystic tan, am I right?

Anyway, Ashley has on a myriad of hipster-to-normal trends, starting with an ugly oversized t-shirt that is supposed to look like vintage but was probably $60 at Diesel. Also, a horribly fugly Chanel "vintage" style bag. Again, this mom-purse trend with the long straps is real hot. One of my fashion pet peeves, as I have mentioned many times before, is a carrying a bag that is not appropriate for the look. Usually, ladies tote around elaborate leather purses with lots of hardware and pair them with their sundresses or Juicy suits or whatever. This is no exception. I know in her case, it's supposed to look funky, but really it looks tired, besides being totally inappropriate. Then the colored jean, which we are all sick off. And finally, fringed Uggs! Uggs are out (sort of) and Minnatonkas are in so we'll just combine them!

At first thought, I didn't see Ashley, I saw her feet, and I thought she was someone with that "tree" disease as seen on TLC that perhaps some of us have been horrified by. Speaking of which, TLC should rename itself "The Sideshow Network" because every single thing on it is like, "Two Ton Dad!" "Two Ton Mom!" "The Littlest People in the World!" "The Man Who's Arms Exploded!" I mean, I'm not saying I don't watch these specials on occasion, but it's interesting to note that the freak show is still alive and well, albeit with a thin veneer of "education" over it.

Alright, I'm done talking about that. now, moving on to someone from The Hills! A lesser person from The Hills! Whitney Port! Who's that? Some ho!


Auggghhhh!!! It's so 90's! Remember how often things were selectively plaid all the time in the 90's? Maybe you had a jean jacket with plaid flannel sleeves and a hood? Or a pair of overalls with a plaid pocket? Well, we all know that this has been the year that plaid and flannel have surged out of control because we're all so ready for the grunge era #2, so plaid patchwork is probably coming soon.


Just look at it! It's so shapelessly short and boxy. Is this a new garment or is it from 1992? Is she wearing friendship bracelets, too??? Seriously, are those John Lennon glasses with the purple lenses going to come back soon? I had a pair of those I thought were really cool and this one extremely cold winter when I visited my family on the east coast my mother and I got our picture in the paper and I was wearing them because I thought it would keep the cold out of my face and my grandfather framed the photo even though I looked strangely deformed in it. Probably due largely in part to the glasses.

Here are some predictions for Fall '09:

*I tried to think of a different title because I feel I mention Blossom too much on this blog, and haven't I used this reference before? Probably.

Steampunks: Not as Cool as I Might Have Hoped, But Could be Worse, I Guess

So, perhaps a few months ago, I first heard the term "steampunk"- I think on a street style website, used by someone wearing striped tights, and then I started hearing it a lot, and then there was an article about it in The New York Times and Gaby and Simone got invited to a steampunk party even though obviously they were way too cool to go, so I guess it's officially a thing, or whatever. Steampunk seems to encompass an aesthetic sense of clothing, art, music, and, uh, video games and graphic novels all based on a time when steam engines were cutting-edge technology, and machines were made up of lots of winding gears. Clothes-wise, it seems to be some kind of mashup of Victoriana, cyperpunk, goth, and lots of buckles, gears, leather and brown.

At first I was interested in the idea, because I find industrial revolution-era London really fascinating, and have read a million books about cholera epidemics and Victorian prostitutes and Art Nouveau romanticism and whatnot. Also, I obviously have a great appreciation for clothing and aesthetics from that era, and my favorite movie is City of Lost Children, which I guess they take a lot from, style-wise. In fact, maybe I can finally publish my young adult fantasy novel under the guise that it is "steampunk," as it mostly takes place in an underground water city with lots of brass instruments and old machines and whatnot (ohmygod I am so steampunk and I didn't even know!)

But- part of what seems pretty crappy about steampunk is:

1) The computer factor. Seriously, it seems like a large amount of steampunkers are truly goth-leaning gamers who create online video animations of steampunk characters, or play them in those scary multi-player online role playing games/anime related things. Yet this is pretty much the antithesis of Victorian aesthetics, not to mention the antithesis of production in those times, which is supposed to be a large part of steampunk. I'm not saying everyone should start using waterwheels or something, but that, artisically, there is a marked difference between art created on a computer and art created with actual, traditional materials, and if you truly are devoted to this look, you should not be creating anything on a computer, because it automatically looks crappy and modern and digital, and ruins any sense of history, craft, or personal touch.

2) Shitty (and sexist!) graphic novels like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen/everything similar. God, I hate that crap.


3) Gluing gears and stuff to various crap. A large part of steampunk appears to be fake-aging and gluing brass knobs onto your iPhone or whatever to make it look like an antique diving helmut. I know collage and clustering was a large part of Victorian decor, but there's just something so sad about creating a little shell for a modern plastic gadget in order to turn it into an old-looking accessory, espeically when said gadget is just going to fall apart like every other piece of technological junk made in the past ten years. At least just buy real Victorian stuff (which is actully available, you know) and use that for display. Ditto buying a polyester waistcoat at Wet Seal. Part of what makes old stuff so much better is that it truly is of finer quality and higher quality material. Spray painting a plastic neon squirt gun as a means of reclaiming the past? No on that! Antique diving helmuts didn't have brass studs on them because some pimply-faced teen who jerks off to anime porn thought it looked cool with his goggles, but because they actually held stuff together.

4) The prevalance of goggles. With everything. What the fuck is up with goggles and certain subcultures? It looks dumb to randomly wear goggles, okay? Even if they're faux-antique, they're still goggles.

5) Corsets. Again, what is it with nerdy subcultures and their association with corsets? Like moths to a flame. Corsets can be worn done right, but most people just put on just a corset (not something actually done in the past) like it's a tank top or something. I know people think it's a classy way to show off their boobs, but those people are wrong. It's a trashy way to show your boobs, and is so not historically accurate.

6) This "official Steampunk band" Abney Park, which features a bunch of dorks and some half naked girls gyrating to some terrible goth-type music. Unique! Also, not only are the three guys in this band wearing goggles in this photo, but their logo is a skull with goggles on it. Just as i'twas in the golden age!


I suppose if everyone could pull it off as well as the girl above in green who actually is wearing a corset in a unique way (as opposed to the corseted, goggled, top-hatted, Tim Burtonesque example at the top of this post), steampunk would be a little more attractive. But there doesn't seem to be enough thought put into it, and there are just too many gears stuck to stuff for no reason. If you're going to commit yourself to such a dramatic aesthetic, you should put time, energy and thought into what makes it unique and beautiful instead of just hopping on the brass-knob encrusted bandwagon.

Hel Looks: Fanny Pack Attack

I remember, in eighth grade, circa maybe '97, my friend and I had a portentous discussion about fashion whilst sitting on the schoolyard.
"Do you realize that everything comes back in fashion?"
"So the 80's are going to come back." [Note: This seemed so impossible at the time that I didn't quite believe it.]
"Like acid wash!"
"And those sweaters with geometric designs on them!"
Then we just sat there in horror, thinking about it, even though we were probably both wearing huge jeans and ringer t-shirts and ball chain necklaces.

The thing about certain clothing coming back in style is that it's not going to happen on its own. Batwing blouses don't come creeping out of thrift stores to land, blousily, upon the backs of hipsters. No, people choose to embrace these clothing, picking out acid wash denim tunics and multicolored nylon windbreakers as if they were ripe fruit. Emilia, 28, then, is certainly old enough to remember the 80s with the same horror, but instead of learning from these mistakes, she has embraced them, accessorizing her baggy tunic with something I have unfortunately had to make a new label for: the fanny pack.

What's really sad is that the '90's are are already coming back, so don't be surprised if the hipsters of tomorrow are sitting around in wide-leg jeans and baby ringer tees, talking about how they admire the style of Bush's Gavin Rossdale and talking about, I don't know, the Lemonheads or something.

Cat Fancy

The pictures of this garment aren't very good, so if, you can't tell from the photos, I'll explain what's going on: this is a vintage, probably early 50's, bathing suit with little black cats printed all over it.

I love vintage bathing suits. They're cut in a much more flattering way than modern ones- all the ruching on this one shapes the bod in a much nicer way than those gross Victoria's Secret bodyshapers, and the higher waistlines and lower legs are great for those of us who feel many modern swimsuits are akin to wearing one's underwear in public. This suit would look fabulous on a variety of sizes and shapes.

But aside from all that, this has one of my most favorite vintage features, and that's a novelty print. Prints from the 40's and 50's were sometimes decorated with everything from fairy tale characters to pocket watches, making an already cute item (like this suit) that much quirkier and more unique. Novelty prints have had a bit of a resurgence lately, what with the heart covered t-shirts at Forever 21 or even a cardigan with cats on it I tried on at H&M that turned out to have hideously huge shoulders, but they rarely have the cute details or charmingly retro look of the novelty prints of yesteryear. If everyone was wearing a chair printed bikini at the beach instead of something like this, the world would clearly be a better place.

Isn't That, a Little, like, Babyish?

One could argue a trend on eBay is not one that will necessarily be repeated on a wider scale, but this has been going on for such a long time that I personally feel the need to complain about it: sellers forcing themselves into children's clothing, advertising them as "vintage mini dresses", and then people paying outrageous amounts of money for them. It's like the emperor's new clothes, people! (Enlarge the pics above. You'll see what I mean.)

Isn't it obvious to everyone that the dress at right, which literally went for $212.50, is merely a little girl's dress from the 80's? I realize nautical is in and all, and the model pulls it off relatively well, considering it originally came from Gymboree, but the point still stands: it's pulled way too tight across her chest, making the little plastic buttons appear as if they're seconds away from popping right off, it's not really vintage, and not looking like a giant fool in it is going to be no easy feat to pull off. What really bugs me about this trend is that it's one thing to go to Goodwill and find a children's dress, and get the idea to squeeze into something made for an 8-year-old because you realize you can rock it in some perverse way, but bringing this personal realization into the public arena and selling it as a "look" kind of takes it out of the realm of quirky personal style and into, I don't know, grifting people who desperately long to have their own?