Lots of Photos/Lots of Fun!

Who's ready to be unique this summer? Are you? Here are the ingredients for the recipe of creativity and everlasting cool:    

                                                                                                                         

1. Please note that bowler hats can be worn with pale blue 90's shorts, a blazer, a long shirt that you pretend is a floppy dress, no pants, and/or dominatrix-y shoes.

2. How about chambray? Everyone loves it now! Try pairing it with tight black leggings or shorts!

3. Add a dash of ill-fitting cut-offs. Also, don't forget your bowler or that horrible, huge, black fringed bag. They always look good paired with a striped shirt and dramatic pose:

4. Or a have I mentioned a huge t-shirt worn as a dress? With black tights? And oversized glasses? Which people I guess are still wearing? Yes?

5. There may have been a time when you would have been like, "Harem pants? What?" Get in the now! That time was so two years ago! Make sure your crotch area flaps in the wind!

6. If you've been waiting to wear leggings and a hat, and also shred your leggings artfully, don't delay: the time is NOW! PS: If you don't have a huge bag, make sure it's tiny and 80's! PPS: Don't forget your oversized chambray shirt!

7. This segues nicely into plaid! And more bowler hats! And more shredded leggings! And more 80's purses!

8. Leather jackets! Those are back too! And there's one way to wear them: with a stupid hat and quilted faux Chanel bag!

In conclusion, all you need to do to look GREAT is combine these unique looks. It's no accident that every single person in the world is latching onto them too; they're simply that great and timeless.  

Hel Looks: Fanny Pack Attack

I remember, in eighth grade, circa maybe '97, my friend and I had a portentous discussion about fashion whilst sitting on the schoolyard.
"Do you realize that everything comes back in fashion?"
"So the 80's are going to come back." [Note: This seemed so impossible at the time that I didn't quite believe it.]
"Like acid wash!"
"And those sweaters with geometric designs on them!"
Then we just sat there in horror, thinking about it, even though we were probably both wearing huge jeans and ringer t-shirts and ball chain necklaces.

The thing about certain clothing coming back in style is that it's not going to happen on its own. Batwing blouses don't come creeping out of thrift stores to land, blousily, upon the backs of hipsters. No, people choose to embrace these clothing, picking out acid wash denim tunics and multicolored nylon windbreakers as if they were ripe fruit. Emilia, 28, then, is certainly old enough to remember the 80s with the same horror, but instead of learning from these mistakes, she has embraced them, accessorizing her baggy tunic with something I have unfortunately had to make a new label for: the fanny pack.

What's really sad is that the '90's are are already coming back, so don't be surprised if the hipsters of tomorrow are sitting around in wide-leg jeans and baby ringer tees, talking about how they admire the style of Bush's Gavin Rossdale and talking about, I don't know, the Lemonheads or something.

Ugly UO Outfit of the Day Taken From Actual Store

This outfit was attacking a mannequin at Urban Outfitters, and while I found plenty of fug in that store, I have to say this ensemble really takes the cake.

We have: a large scarf, a million necklaces, a beige tube top (ewwww....who wears those except Posh Spice circa 1997? Clearly it was just placed there to minimize the "skin" revealed by that gaping tank top), a turquoise and gold foil happy face t-shirt cut into a blousy tank top, A FANNY PACK hanging off her side like some kind of horrible tumor, and an overdyed purple acid washed denim mini with a cut-off hem. Overall, it makes the mannequin look bloated and big around the middle, as well as very hideously dressed.

It's not even a cute fanny pack. I mean, maybe if it was a cute print or something, I could KIND OF overlook it, but it's clearly the same fanny pack that ugly people wore to visit Six Flags in 1987.

Ugly UO Item of the Day: The Ethnic Fanny Pack

I know I do too many Urban Outfitters posts, but come on! Look at this suede fringed pouch belt, called the Native American Belt Bag! What kind of a huge tool is going to wear this? I know it's supposed to be worn in that Joanna Newsom/boho/Kate Moss/neo-hippie type of way, but neither of them would be foolish enough to strap this onto themselves. Sure it was obnoxious when actual, 1960's hippies appropriated that they considered native, but what is our modern teen going to do with this? I'll tell you: store their Devendra Banhart-filled Ipod in there, with other tools of the man.

Nu Rave...I Think

Remember ravers? Remember how in the early to mid 90's people were still into raving, and wearing plastic children's jewelery they charmingly referred to as "candy" and doing a lot of ecstasy and apparently some people did so much ecstasy they didn't have happiness left or something? Have you ever wished rave-related music and fashion, after that long, long absence would come back, but with more of an ironic feel, a more self-consciously ugly thing going on? How about if it was dressed in sherbet orange leggings, a fanny pack, teal framed glasses, and some loudly patterned straight-jacket looking thing?

To be honest, I don't know if the people above are "Nu Rave" technically, but whatever. According to Wikipedia, it's "a style of music fusing elements of electronic dance music and rock, which developed in the UK in 2006." Whether nu rave is a media construct or a legitimate style of music (who am I kidding, there is no way a band named Shitdisco is going to be good), nu rave has been mentioned many times in terms of fashion, and tends to be associated with the bright colors/gold chains/neon resurgence/extremely fugly look shown above. Anyway, it doesn't matter if nu rave really is Electroclash all over again (remember when people used that word all the time? Ha.) because fashion trends don't need to be connected with authentic musical ones to catch on, and spread like a horrible disease through the youth of America and Western Europe.