Thursday, June 26, 2008

Loose on Top, Tight on the Bottom

So this dress went for $67.50 on eBay, and I could not help but ask myself "Why?" Is looking like a tawdry, clownish hippie so very appealing? What is going on here? I realize tie dye is "back" but I think that really means it now "acceptable", but not a full-on trend. Anyway, after some thought, I decided this flowy mess of a sack dress (which really, you could sew yourself for under $5) went so high because the skank du jour trend is loose on top, tight on the bottom. You know what I'm talking about- those "dresses" that billow to one's hips and then suddenly narrow, leaving a tight band around your thighs. Somehow, this has become the look of the summer- replacing the all-out sack of last year, which was just flowy throughout. I think this dress is popular because it allows all the freedom of a sack, with the added bonus of clinging to your ass, while ending somewhere around mid-crotch. (Ohmygod, when you are not living in San Francisco for the summer, the amount of crotch-grazing dresses you see is astounding. Truly astounding.) You can yank a dress like this up as high as you like, espeically now that the lines between "dress" and "top" have been so deeply, deeply blurred after the introduction of that fashion firecracker, the tunic.See? What a strange sillouhette. And the moral of the story is: People shall forever find new ways (and/or imitate old ways as I'm pretty sure this is imitative of an 80's imitating the 20's trend) to show off the goods.


Julia Factorial said...

personally i am more offended by the knock-kneed stance and the retarded look on that face. mary, i know it's some kind of fashion hell you're in now, since you're visiting philadelphia. i would like to personally apologize for the amount of crotch-dresses that are paraded around in the old city & south st vicinities.

M said...

yeah, that whole pigeon-toed, knock-kneed, baby colt look has always been hot for the ebay model. this one kind of looks like a 1980s yugoslavian child bride. or something.

i find the fashion here pretty fascinating! it keeps me on my toes!

teach people not books said...

and the grossest part is, these jersey-ish fabric dresses always end up being the least flattering in terms of how the fabric actually lays on the skin--esp. the thighs/butt (this is assuming the wearer would be even slightly familiar with these sorts of difficulties--unlikely with the ebay model). i have a maxi dress from last year and a jcrew dress from this year (neither of which even approach this odd, 'crotch-grazing" hot mess of a cut), and i had to go old school and buy these weird bike short things to even make these dresses wearable. the maxi dress works ok with leggings underneath too, but leggings+long jersey dress in the summer just doesn't work.

totally unrelated--do you live in s.f. during some part of the year? it is by far my favorite city in the world--i used to live in pacifica, my bro. lives in union city.

M said...

yes, this type of slippery stretch jersey is a particularly clingy and unforgiving fabric. i cannot imagine wearing it on the lower half of one's body, as it totally gives a jell-o-y appearence to anyone who doesn't have baby horse body of the girl modeling that awful tie dyed monstrosity.

i'm from sf but on the east coast for the summer. there are many things i miss about sf and the food is probably #1 right now.

however, it's worth noting that people kind of look like dull slobs in sf compared to the, i don't know, colorful trashy i'm seeing right now, so it's kind of a welcome (if shocking) change. it's also cold there, so booty shorts aren't comfortable (and wearing leggings under your maxi dress is probably a necessity.)

Anonymous said...

If you think Philadephia is bad, you should go to new york. when you're visiting me, we'll have to go to mccarren park in williamsburg on a saturday. truly mindblowing, believe me.

And i have to say, now that i'm back in SF for a week, it's waaayyyy more comfortable for me to walk around where everyone is wearing, like, 3 layers due to fog. All the ladies in too-short, cleavage-baring, high-heeled outfits in new york make me feel like i look like a virginal milkmaid in comparison. which is not such a bad thing, but also makes me feel kinda invisible. here i wear a vintage shirtdress with tights and flat shoes and i turn heads.

anyway, that was sure a tangent. i really could use some lunch now.
love simone

teach people not books said...

m, totally unrelated once more, but i've got sf on the brain (my dad just returned)... have you been to eric's on church st. in sf? very traditional chinese, excellent. thinking of their crispy sesame beef and crab rangoon right now... also, i don't know if this is touristy or not, but have you gone to mitchell's ice cream on san jose ave? their mango is to die for. a trip is a must every time i visit the area.

M said...

sorry so take so long to reply- i've been volunteering at girl's rock camp in new york for the past week.

yes, i have been to eric's (my mom owns a consignment store in noe valley, not far from there), and mitchell's is definitely an sf staple- i guess it does attract some tourists but i think it's mostly locals- i've always found it a great cross-section of the city. i love taking out-of-towners there.

if you ever want to discuss food in sf or want any kind of recommendations, i am game! i love talking about eating in san francisco. after leaving the city, i think i'm becoming obsessed with it.

Tiffany-MMS said...

I realize that they're loose on top and tight on bottom but what are they called!??!