This is kind of two months ago, but whatever. Godamn, Oscar fashion is boring. I have already done a post or two about how the rise of the Hollywood stylist has effectively killed whatever creativity or originality that the Oscars once had, so I guess it's no surprise Miley, in her much-panned glittery fairy princess dress, didn't use one and is one of the few people who did not wear a draped satin strapless dress. Her dress, aside from being beautifully made and insane, just seems so appropriate for a teenager at the sparkliest place on earth, and is so much more interesting than this.
I also appreciate Beyonce's outfit, which everyone hated on the basis that it was "tacky." In case no one noticed, the Oscars are tacky. It's a bunch of overpaid, botoxed, talentless hacks (I'm looking at you, Martin Scorsese) congratulating themselves on a stage that looks like this. I like Beyonce because she always keeps it real and consistent. She would never wear something lank and blah; she is all about the statuesque, the glamour, and the rejection of trends in favor of highlighting her own considerable assets. To me, Beyonce always looks worthy of walking the red carpet, and like a glam movie star of olde instead of some girl shoved in something classy and "appropriate."
In conclusion, if I ever get invited to the Oscars, which probably I will pretty soon, I'm going to have monkey butlers in golden tuxedos carrying my 700-pound cape with a scenic tapestry on it.