Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Face Hunter Really is Increasingly Boring

We all had a good laugh over Nu Rave, and, sure, it was awful, but now that it has been like a year and a half and apparently in this modern world, that is now an eternity, and I'm ready for some Nu Rave nostalgia. For the new look of Face Hunter and whatnot is SO, SO BORING!!!! What the hell is up with this outfit? Nice quilted denim jacket and black pants!!! Hot off the heels of that Mad About You post, we have even more horrible, boring, dull, ugly 90's fashion! And as usual, that person who stepped off the city bus in this exact outfit two minutes ago is not worthy of having their photo taken, but the model wearing it totally is!

Way to ruin that slutty top that doesn't even fit you right anyway! Why wear something so skanky to only add computer programmer pants to the mix?

This shirt is so International Male 1992. International Male, in case you're wondering, was this amazingly tacky catalog for men with a leaning towards a look we might call "Jazzy Fabio," as in, jazzier than how Fabio dressed. I once found a copy on the plane in like, the year 2000, when I was too young to actually process the camp value but knew there was something pretty funny about outfits like this ten years after the 80's had passed. Like, there is no way this shirt doesn't smell like cheap cologne and wasn't worn by someone with a Jheri curl. Also, nice chain necklace, dude. Doesn't he realize you should be dressed like a little fey pixie if you look like this?

This girl is going for the elusive "sloppy European hippie girl who tries to buy ecstasy from you at a youth hostel so she can do it at the Dead concert in 1993 + boater hat" look. Pure magic!

This is her friend. She's like, "Hey, we're going to drum on mountaintop, yes? You want to go?"

What about this guy? Sort of charming, isn't it? Sort of a fresh take on that tired Oliver Twist look everyone is so tired of. Loving the shorts over kneesocks with clunky pigeon-toes. How exactly does the Face Hunter know this guy isn't a hipster but actually a glue-sniffing runaway, which is what he looks like? And isn't the fact that you can't really tell kind of disturbing to anyone?

Did I say boring? What am I talking about? Take a look at this guy! Are those jamz??? Hiking boots without laces? How do those stay on his feet? This outfit has everything!

There are like seven pictures of this lady on the Face Hunter's website. I have to say, I could not find this image any less inspiring.

This look is soooo dorky. I feel like this guy is really into the films of Guy Richie, DJing trip-hop and pretending like he is in The Matrix.
She looks pretty cool, though! I've said it before and i'll say it again: If you wanna dress slutty, go for it, but go all the way!


Simone said...

"The Ultimate Poet's Blouse"

madam0wl, a.k.a Sandra said...

My friend and I used to subscribe(?) to International Male so we could lust over all the hot Fabios.

Mary said...

I wish I had taken that copy from the plane. Simone, that would have been the biggest green room hit. (Speaking of which, I wish we also still had that prom backdrop catalog. We could have made some subversive collage art with that shit!)