Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Mad About Urban Outfitters
Hey, does anyone remember the show Mad About You? Boring Helen Hunt, the always grating Paul Reiser, sort of yuppies, the 90's? You know, as a kid you will watch almost anything: Professional Wrestling, Weekend at the Apollo, Home Improvement...but when the Mad About You theme song began, I couldn't change the channel fast enough (I feel the opening credits clearly show why.) As the blandest of "adult" sitcoms, focusing on adorable relationship foibles, it was everything I hated about TV, and to top it all off, it looked SO boring.
And, without further adieu, I bring you some new Urban Outfitters clothes, clearly inspired by the puffy chambray shirts and unnecessary vests of Paul Reiser and the high-waisted faded jeans and boxy blazers of Helen Hunt. You know, designers spend thousands researching their inspirations, but why bother when such sartorial splendor is only a remote-click away?
Ohmygooood this is so ugly. I just don't understand why anyone would want to wear something like this. What draws you in? If you want to look like absolutely nothing [ie, Helen Hunt], why pay so much for it? This is $100!!!
This is a stonewashed shirt- very Paul Reiser! It also comes in bleached chambray and tie-dye, to be worn for more of a "world music" look! Did you know these are just old shirts Urban Outfitters hand "splatter bleach finished?" What can't those geniuses do?
Alright, probabaly no one on Mad About You would wear this- maybe a kooky aunt? Anyway, what is going on here?! A faux fur vest paired with a washed silk oversized blouse? If you're going to wear a faux fur vest, even one this ugly, at least try for a little glam rock panache a la Brian Eno in his Roxy Music days! Why is everyone so willing to wear fugly, strange clothes like harem pants but only in the most muted and boring ways possible???
Once, not long ago, I worked at a very trendy vintage store that happened to be located right near Urban Outfitters headquarters. The store was full of hipsters and 90's stuff that flew off the shelves. Occasionally some young ladies wearing a belted oversized silk blouse and whatnot would come in and buy a lot of stuff with the Urban Outfitters credit card, so they could be "inspired" by the stuff for their designs, then manufacture brand new copies of this shit and sell them for far more than even our jacked-up prices. And everyone at my job would be like, "They don't even go to real thrift stores! The stuff is already picked out for them! Easiest job ever!"
Indeed. One would almost think, to make this garment, an "Urban" buyer closed their eyes and plunged straight into the next available sale rack, but I guess it was carefully chosen? This blouse looks like the kind of blouse they still sell at stores that have displays like this out front.
So ugly and 90's and boring and ill-fitting and weird. And so paired with an off-white silk blouse. We truly are moving into the mid 90's as "vintage" and "inspirational." Isn't Urban Outfitters worried that soon they will have covered the whole 90's and then we are going to end up overlapping even more and nothing will be "in" or "out" anymore? Also, how are they ever going to "draw inspiration" from the 2000s as nothing original happened through out the entire decade, fashion wise? Maybe these purses will come back? Who knows? Start buying everything, because tomorrow it could be popular!
PS: "They're not going to like my NYPD Shoe sketch! It's basically the same thing!"