Sunday, September 26, 2010

Ugly Urban: Side Boob & CK One

This strange skirt has a Halloween superstore vibe.

OMG I can't wait to wear this look for fall! I am literally standing in line at Urban Outfitters buying this shapeless greige $189 sweater and this sexy poly sheer maxi. Literally.

Here's another joyous looking outfit featuring that skirt, which I guess actually is wool and costs $170. Are people really going to be wearing these skirts? Really? I wish people were just wearing the shapely and awesome maxi skirts of the 70s instead, but those have too much life- the current hip look is all about not trying hard, not being coordinated, not wearing colors, and not looking fun.

Also, these looks really evoke 90s minimalism, which I am predicting may be the next hip thing. Like, maybe soon people will be wearing slip dresses and long gray jersey skirts with nary a print in sight. During those 90's minimalist times, they used to feature rich people's homes in Vogue magazine, and it used to be like a single chair in a room. Maybe that will come back too?

Hey little Indians, maybe it's time to give these tired ass "Navajo" prints a rest. Remember when the colonialist/hipster Indian look was all about mocassins and feathers and wearing a band around your head and then that trend died but then came this surge of "ethnic" prints to replace it?

$143 for this! And to think, you could just swathe yourself in one of those tan colored plastic grocery bags for free.
Gross! You can't combine the open back cut-out look with the saggy neutral drape look, because you just get something lank and vaginal. If you're going to have a cut-out back, at least look like an early 90's ho.

This is like the most undignified look ever. It differs from the other looks, because it's not so 90's and more sexy toddler. Also, like, are you seriously supposed to wear just a bra in place of a shirt and parade around in public? I hate how all these clothes are supposed to be incidentally sexy, not in a self-aware, empowered way, but like you don't even know you have side-boob.


Em said...

If only I hadn't given away mine and my sister's velvet maxi skirts from the late 90s!

I agree about the incidentally sexy thing. American Apparel models are worse about that. They look nervous/vulnerable/ill and I'm supposed to find it sexy? Weird! If AA models looked powerful and less like they're creeped out by the photographer, I wouldn't mind so much that all their ads look like porn.

Liina said...

Amused and horrified how all the WORST looks from the 90s are coming back in full force! It's not just on the internet; I see it in real life too...

MaryAnn - Boots said...

Love your blog here. I've enjoyed reading a few of your posts, and will be back for more.

Simone said...

We all knew the 90s minimalist look was coming back! BARF ME OUT.

And yes, you are totally right about the incidentally sexy thing. Nobody is owning their sexuality in this world of lank hipsters and fashion gays! And yes, american apparel ads would be so much less offensive if the models looked powerful and... dare i say it... happy about what they were doing! The whole look lately is just so damned disempowering, like you're supposed to be some sort of sad rag doll lying in the gutter or something. LAME.