Fashion Victims & Their Medical Supplies

The harnessed and hobbled high-fashion S&M look is so right now. Everyone loves the studding, bondage, and S&M connotations, but it has little of the homemade original punk/goth look- instead it's all about the controlled, artsy, cleaned-up designer version. Kind of like Lady Gaga (Everyone's over her, aren't they?) if Lady Gaga had no flare. It's weird because this look is supposed to be so "edgy" and dark but really it is much more Vogue magazine, and much more sanitized than your classic leather-daddy wear. Also, this look is very big in New York right now, especially with the fashion gays. People just love to be unique in the same way, you know?

Speaking of edgy, check this out!

A fashion image of image of a model wearing a leg brace and orthopedic shoes, the kind for people with one leg shorter than the other! I think this is so brave and daring of them, and so compellingly erotic at the same time. What I am wondering is: When will Raf Simons make the $8,000 version of each of these pieces???

Here is a harness by "Skingraft," because skingrafts are like totally sexy and edgy, at least in theory, right?

Let's let these photos speak for themselves.




This is designer Raf Simons. I think he's responsible for this shit. He certainly looks responsible.

In: being skinny (transgressive), being pale/white, wearing white/black, shaving the sides of your head, bowl cuts, gladiators, girls who look like models, guys who look like female models, looking lank, flash photography, neautrals, poncho capes, hoods, mesh, low cut tanktops, a twist of the early 90's hip hop, sloppy shants/harem pants. Wearing a single earring.

It's like everyone's misplacing their flamboyance, and wants to be dramatic and interesting but doesn't know how. What will these people be wearing when this look is over? I think many of them were probably "nu ravers" (remember them???) not long ago. Anyway, everyone in New York is such a fashion victim and everyone thinks they look great and also came up with their great look on their own and did not first see it in Nylon magazine or on a hundred other people!!!!

Trend Report From American Apparel: Sagging Mauve

These are from their vintage selection, priced at $38. As far as shorts go, it is difficult to get more unflattering than this. And shorts are often extremely unflattering.

Here are some more of their lovely pants in similar styles, from their hot new line, "1993 Hospital Waiting Room."

Yes, whether it is greige, mauve, beige or a washed-out puce, they offer a stunning array of colors and looks.


Or maybe those pale mint poly pleated pants were too sleek-looking. so how about this really, really dumpy looking skirt, which is made of polyester khaki chiffon? I already made fun of a very similar skirt, but whatever. The very first post I made on this blog was to hate on American Apparel, and that was three years ago. And look where I am today!!!


I am sooo sick of these dishrag-y tank tops that are always in this dingy color and hang down saggily in order to reveal your naked sides and bra. This one is a particularly fetching design.

Or what about this also polyester but pink polyester satin scarf? It's $26!!! My theory is that American Apparel has tons of scraps lying around and to make use out of them, they're like, "Use this leftover fabric for a 'Wrap It Yourself' beret or take these colored strings and braid them into a 'String Harness' for only thirty bucks!"

Speaking of unflattering shorts, everyone is wearing these 90's style shorts right now. It's hard to put my finger on exactly what makes them so ugly, because I like the idea of high-waisted shorts, but everyone looks really lumpen in this particular style. I think they smush down people's butts while simultaneously creating a pouch-like area in front. In fact, you might say even say that the fupa/flat ass look is the look du jour.

Ohmygod what the hell these clothes are so unbelievably ugly. Like, what the hell?! Do you know what I'm saying here??????? What is wrong with everyone????

More gross tops that look like they are from the 1994 Victoria's Secret catalogue. The textured one is nylon and costs $78. Basically, you are paying money to look like what Dov Charney jerked off to in the 90's. It's a real honor.


Speaking of being jerked off on, here are the photos they show on the website for their $64 jersey sheet set, which comes, exclusively, in white and gray, perhaps the grossest color for sheets. I know all American Apparel ads look like this, but maybe this one is a little more haunting? A little more of a human-trafficking vibe? Oh, who even knows anymore. It's all so distasteful.

Best of Lookbook: We Still Love Saggy Clothing, Looking Waifish

This is entitled "coffee & novels" even though I bet he is really drinking a skim soy latte. This guy seems very influenced by the Olsen Twins. I say he can do better! I'm tired of people saying gay gays dress better than straight men. They both dress bad. I guess this guy has some flair, but it's misplaced. A few more examples:

It's like they're in a costume, but they don't know what they are supposed to be. I guess I appreciate the campiness of it, but I think lots of gays seem to dress in parodies in a sort of version of masculinity, hence the the male cast of Jersey Shore in the Village Voice queer issue, illustrating the "guido ideal." But these looks, like all the looks here, are desperately high-fashiony, except I guess the guy in the headband, who looks more Portland 2008. No one seems influenced by anything cool or really belonging to an interesting subculture, just by what is trendy.






This is a big look for girls. It's a kind of swaddled, diapery look. Everyone is into pants with saggy apendages, like dropped crotches and voluminous ankles. More neutral. More 90's. I think maybe the two bottom ones are wearing the same flowy skort? Isn't it weird that not long ago these ladies would be wearing low-rise Sevens and Juicy suits? Like the guy above, they strive for a rumpled "I just threw this flowy skort on," look.




Also hot: tucking something voluminous into a pair of 501 cut-offs and posing with a fashion hunch.



In: long hair for the ladies. But, not curly, wild long fair. That's gross. It's lank and straight, like the pleats in your shorts. And bowler hats and faux vintage sunglasses and skorts or at least a really big shirt with no pants. Standing knock-kneed and unsteadily, as usual.

Who wore the Smiths T-Shirt Better Competition:

That first guy looks your sixth-grade dream date, whereas the second guy is doing the ubiquitous pigeon-toed 90's floral thing. Which goes to show that gay guys dress no better than straight guys, but also that everyone also dresses the same, basically. Also, that everyone is, as usual, harboring the delusion that they alone control how they dress.