Saturday, November 29, 2008

More People Who Are Famous for Some Reason

Following my previous post about female star(let)s of dubious talent (whose happiness I happen to be extremely jealous of) and whose fame is due entirely to connections they have, here is a new post about the daughters of aged rock musicians!

First of all, even though no one really cares about them, we have the Richards sisters, daughters of Keith Richards and some model whose name I actually do know is Patti Hansen. The "some model" aspect is very important, because having a model mother means you are tall and skinny, but having a rock star father means you have cachet. Anyway, I first read about the Richards sisters in Vogue a long time ago, and they're basically very boring and are kind of preppy Lauren Conrad types who probably don't know who the Rolling Stones are. But still, they are sort of lauded and always invited to show up at events and get modeling contracts like they didn't inherit Keith's forehead or something.
Also, if you want to see something uber-horrifying I came across in my google image search, I have posted it below:

Take that, Iggy Pop! And you thought you were withered! This is what Simone refers to as "looking like beef jerkey."

Then we have Daisy Lowe, who is like twelve or something:

When she first started getting popular, I assumed she was the daughter of singer-songwriter Nick Lowe, but actually she is the forgotten love child of Gavin Rossdale and someone. Are you still considered "rock royalty" if your father is Gavin Rossdale?

Anyway, model Daisy is known for this i-D magazine spread she did where her boyfriend grabbed her naked boobs (here is one of the less racy photos.) This was shot by "photog" Terry Richardson, who pioneered using flash in photos and shooting fifteen year olds in just a pair of children's underwear and a wolf mask on a motel bed. You know what I'm talking about- it's not misogyny- misogyny is dead. This is the "new misogyny!" Here's a good example. And another! Anyway, back to Daisy Lowe: much heralded as a British fashion icon, but, of course, if you look closely, she just looks like some girl you saw on the street five minutes ago.

Next we have Kimberly Stewart, Rod Stewart's daughter. As much as she tried, she never really pulled off that indie skank thing, and just got stuck in with simply skank. I decided to post her anyway because I can never resist a good nose job photo comparison. But seriously, she must feel bad that she ruined it so much by dressing like this and hanging out with Paris Hilton. After all, Rod Stewart is cooler than Gavin Rossdale.

Then, (shown in the second photo with Miss Lowe in the Doc Martens) there's Peaches Geldof (short for "Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa," sister to "Fifi" and "Pixie." Hey, how about just naming your daughters "Kandy Kanes" or "Mandee Melons?" ) But we all knew Bob Geldof was overly full of himself when you saw his Live Aid performance, right? Like everyone else on this list, she is a "model" and hosts a TV show in England. Apparently she also has a reputation for being condescending, and, according to Wikipedia, "Pete Doherty blamed his poor performance at 2005's Live 8 concert on Peaches making a 'suggestive' comment to him shortly before he went onstage, which the teenager denied." Haha. Anyway, she recently got married to some other nineteen year old but I think she's getting a divorce soon.

And to contrast with the ladies in this post, Cisco Adler, noted ex of Mischa Barton, Kimberly Stewart, and apparently Paris Hilton and Lauren Conrad. He is also the son of some LA music guy and was in a band like Keanu Reeves called "Whitestarr" and is known for being an allaround hipster/douche, but a lame LA hipster, not even a New York one. Also, googleimage search him for some of the most horrifying nude photos ever. 

Anyway, even though he's wildly hideous, since he's a guy he never had to get a nose job or a face reduction or whatever the hell would fix him. (If you've googleimaged him by now, you'll see that it's at least a balls reduction.) And because he's a guy he is actually in a band and plays an instrument (I mean, if you can call it that), which is equally frusturating as we all really wanted Nicole Richie's violin or whatever she supposedly plays career to get off the ground. But seriously, of course none of these woman are famous for anything besides wearing wet-look leggings, whereas we all know if Keith Richards had two sons they would sure as hell be in several bands right now. Like, I'm sure none of these people event taught their daughters to play instruments or anything.

So there are more (Lizzee Jagger, anyone?) but this post is already too long. Please let me know if you'd like more celeb spawn posts!


Gatesca Pantomima said...

frances cobain and her internship in rolling stone? apparently she is a rock chick now

M said...

i don't know why, but i have a soft spot for francis bean. i hope she turns out alright. maybe it has something to do with my love of old-school courtney love. pehaps she can right the many, many wrongs of her mother.

but yrd, i bet she doesn't play an instrument either, which is sad.

M said...

by "yrd", i mean "yes."

Gatesca Pantomima said...

yeah i remember when i read that she wanted mariah carey to perform in her 15th birthday. my heart broke a little.

M said...

really, mariah carey? do fifteen year olds like her these days?

anyway, that is too bad. though i guess she is lucky she's not addicted to heroin right now. unless she is.