Thursday, May 1, 2008

Ugly UO: Ohmygod, the 90's!!!!

Sorry it's taken me so long to post! I am trying to get back in the game here! And what better way then to do an Urban Outfitters post, I ask you?

Here is the "Lux Side Stripe Tee Dress." I can't tell if those shoes are the jazz-esque shoes that are all the rage right now, or just white Keds. I know Keds (the pointy kind people wore in the early 90's) have been waiting to make their resurgance, and it looks pretty imminent. When I went to this ghetto day camp in Japantown all our counselors were surly teenagers with those flabby-looking scrunch socks they scrunched down over their Keds, which were black or white. This was probably like 1992, and my point is that the 90's are like totally back I guess, because it's been like ten years. Anyway, this dress, if you can call it that, is soooo shapeless. It looks like a nightie someone would wear on 90210 (first three seasons.) It just feels so baggy white shorts overalls with one strap undone and pockets made out of contrasting flannel plaid fabric (soon to come for Urban's Fall 08 line!)

Ugh. Seriously. This is so gross looking. Like the dress above, the Lux Crochet Inset Jersey Top is very dull and droopy and depressing. It really, really looks like something that was found in a thrift store, but not a good thrift store. The ones where all the clothes don't go past 1988 but the hipster girl who is also in there is buying this. Has anyone else been to thrift stores recently where there's like two girls with bangs fighting over a fanny pack? I always get real defensive in thrift stores because I think I'll need to lunge at something cute before someone else gets to it but then you realize they're just there to find one of Blossom's outfits.
When something puckers along a seam, you know it's well made!
$98 linen cargo pants! I've already made fun of cargo pants enough, but I can't even tell what aesthetic context they're supposed to be fitting into here, you know?
Wow, the Lux Full Pleat Tapered Pant is so hideously unflattering! I know everyone wants to bring back pleats and tapering and high waists but has anyone stopped to think how ugly all these things usually are, especially when combined? And if you're going to do something so awful, at least make it in a stiffer fabric so it doesn't just balloon out at the crotch like that. Also, those low-heeled hot pink pumps were a mistake, as they would be in probably any context.
I don't really have anything else to say about this, except that the Lux Digital Floral Skirt fits into our 90's theme soooo well. Remember how, in the 90's, washed out, faux Victorian florals on black backgrounds were really popular? How do things like that even gain popularity? And how could something so ugly then go on to regain popularity a mere fourteen years later?

1 comment:

Simone said...

That skirt is totally made of the same fabric as this dress I had when I was, like, 7 or 8 years old. It had a lace collar. I thought it was really fancy. And on a little girl in 1990, it probably was. But on a woman in 2008? come on, people.