Saturday, May 8, 2010

Hats Off to Everyone






Hey dudes, it's time to give these hats a rest! You're not Tom Waits, you're not William Burroughs, and you're not a 1950's-era jazz musician. The amount of men walking around this summer wearing a straw fedora, usually with the waning-but-won't-give-up deep v and shants, is truly devastating. Sometimes you have to take a step back and think, "If Justin Timberlake popularized this trend, does it make it less cool?" The answer is yes.

Here are some more trends and their current status:

FINALLY WANING:
-Mocassins/Minntonkas/fringe/feathers/The "Injun" Look
-Wearing a band around your head
-Huge Glasses
-Aforementioned deep Vs
-Cosby sweaters
-Pointy little oxfords
-Tom's
-Doc Martens
-Flannel

TOTALLY OVER
-Neons/Nu Rave
-Fashion mullets
-Random belts
-Wet look leggings (I did see some in the children's department of Target, though!)

MAXIMUM SATURATION POINT:
-90's florals
-Chambray
-Any fucking kind of stupid hat
-Short puffy high waisted skirts
-Blazers with rolled up sleeves
-Horrible faux leather shrunken bomber jackets
-Big ugly shoes
-Flabby denim cut-offs
-Harem/bulky/pleated pants
-Socks with aforementioned big ugly shoes

HERE TO STAY FOR AWHILE, I GUESS?
-Wayfarers
-Sack dresses
-Rompers
-Leggings as pants
-Thinking skateboarding is cool
-Posing like a frightened but sexy four-year-old

THE FUTURE
-I'm thinking those 90's stretchy tops that you bought at like Gadzooks or Fashion Bug with, like, photo print daisies on them?
-Ball chain necklaces: let's make it happen!
-Ironic XL Tommy Hilfiger?

2 comments:

madam0wl, a.k.a Sandra said...

I've been all over the ball-chain resurgence, in fact I've probably worn mine at least once a year since I bought them way back when (high school?). Same goes for my Docs. I'm all for a photoprint comeback too. I'm from the future baby! Plus I like to think I may have helped champion 90s florals, sorry about that. I still find myself buying ugly floral dresses. But I'm with you on all the rest.

Em said...

I am so ready for hemlines to go down. I'm 5'11" and those little high-waisted skirts are just obscene on me, not to mention impractical and ridiculous looking.