Sunday, October 14, 2007


When I saw this picture of Lily Allen, I thought, "Another one bites the dust." (That is corny, but I did think it.) I know there are plenty of blogs discussing weight in Hollywood, but whatever. It's depressing. I mean, I never really liked Lily Allen or anything, but I was like, "At least she has unique personal style and is mouthy and writes her own music and has a normal body," which is far more than we can say for most female musicians.

Anyway, even though she was often quoted as saying she had issues about her body since becoming famous, and saying alternately that she liked herself the way she was and didn't care about fascist beauty standards and all, now that she is significantly thinner she's all, "I did it for me! I never felt pressured! Now I'm healthy." Apparently she also wants to become an actress so we'll see if a blonde weave and spray tan are also on their way too.

So, without fail, anyone who does not fall within a particular standard gets made fun of and loses a bunch of weight, and then In Touch is like, "But now she's too thin!" and then maybe they gain a little back and In Touch is like, "Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, who does not treat her, says Kelly Clarkson is too fat again, and 'a friend' estimates she eats fifteen cheeseburgers for breakfast" and it's all a vicious cycle!

When model Sophie Dahl became famous (as well as semi-embraced by the fashion industry), it was a real breath of fresh air. She probably gets more work now.

Hillary Duff during her overly made-up, Peaches Christ stage looked a lot healthier than during her lank, Rachael Zoe/Urban Outfitters, skeletor phase.

I'm not sure why, but I find Angelina Jolie, really, really boring. The only time I've found her attractive was when she had that weird bowl cut/an amazing "cyber" wardrobe in Hackers, and maybe (also pre-nose job) in Foxfire because it is about a girl gang and all, but the point is that she seems to have lost a bit of something besides like fifty pounds.

Okay, I know nobody cares about Laura Prepon from That 70's Show but she used to be really pretty and unique looking! I can't believe even red hair is too crazy for Hollywood!

Alright, no explanation needed for this one.

When Ashlee became popular and had that show on MTV, for some reason Simone and I became obsessed with her. We used to sing her terrible single "Pieces of Me" all the time and her show was totally amazing. Her whole thing was that she was different and rebellious and she did "crazy" things like dye her hair black and get a cartilage piercing and then of course she got a nose job and lost hella weight and it was the only the veneer that was keeping things interesting and you're like, "Who are her fans now?"

Liv Tyler has been looking a lot less statuesque lately.

And then of course Lindsay Lohan, who also used to be pretty curvaceous and had red hair and now pretty much looks like everyone else. Simone and I also used to love Lindsay, though her album Speak was no Autobiography by Ashlee, but still, she seemed kind of likable during Mean Girls but it's all over now!

Anyway, I don't think any of these people were particularly fascinating as performers, artists, or human beings, but the fact that it's pretty much impossible for anyone to stay marginally unique or different looking in Hollywood just isn't sending a very good message to both little girls everywhere and about our society as a whole. There's just so little variety in fame, and it does seem like we're moving farther and farther culturally from a time when Katherine Hepburn was a big star or Patti Smith got a major-label recording contract or whatever. I mean, I know Hannah Montana has fucked-up teeth but somehow I don't think that's enough.


Simone said...

Dude, hannah montanna got veneers recently. duh.

oh god, i know, i kinda glanced at that picture of lily allen about a week ago and was like, "does not compute!" and was trying to pretend it didn't happen. i think her music sucks, but it was so nice to see a girl out there who was more my size, and swore a lot. i dunno, she'd be fun to drink with. now her face is too skinny and she looks so drab in that grey dress. I BLAME KARL LAGERFELD.

also, liv tyler. if i could look like anyone else in the world, it would be her (or lily cole). but before she lost all that weight. she's an amazon woman!

in other weight news, it was nice to see that gemma ward put on some weight. i was all, "wow, who's that model? i can't believe they put someone on the runway that might be, oh, i dunno, a size 2 or 4 or something!" but, you know, she betta stop eating soon. according to kimora lee simmons, a size six is the new size 23. thanks, kimora! that makes me positively elephantine!

M said...

whatever! kimora is no size six herself. i feel like if kimora didn't wear nine girdles she would start oozing out over her baby phat jeans. i mean, it's not that she's fat, it's that she seems really gelatinous.

hannah montana is also on her way to a nose job. did you know she is like fourteen? god it's all so disgusting.

Simone said...

yeah, actually, kimora was congratulating herself about recently getting rid of all her size sixes because she was now a size four. hence the comment about 6 being the new 23. SICK, sick.

Simone said...

yeah, she is gelatinous. i agree.

Anonymous said...

You know, I should be too embarrassed to admit this in public, but I actually kind of care about Laura Prepon. I used to watch hella "That 70s Show" when I was unemployed the summer after college! And she was really pretty. I didn't even know all this stuff happened to her! God, I can't believe her hair now. I want to both barf on her hair and barf up her hair.

Veneers said...

Apparently she also wants to become an actress so we'll see if a blonde weave and spray tan are also on their way too.