Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Hel Looks: Leggings as Pants

On Hel Looks, there's been a terrible leggings-as-pants outbreak, as well as a bit too much of that "doth protest too much" attitude. Let's take a closer look!
I guess Bjørt, 21, saw MK's outfit in the post below and decided to get on that. She's also added one of those mom bags I dislike, proclaiming her "favourite outfit is high-waisted pants or shorts with a loose top." Bjørt is boring, man. I would have never taken her picture.

Ida is only 19, and she is "wearing similarly coloured leggings and stockings on top of each other and second hand men's jacket." More accurately, she is tucking her shirt into her leggings. She is wearing spandex stretch lace leggings and tucking a t-shirt into them. If that is not a fashion crime, I do not know what is. Apparently she loves " like over-the-top things like crazy patterns, lace, shoulder pads and too long or too big clothes." Um, do you mean 80's clothes/What happens to be popular right now? Quirky!

Nora, who is only 23, says "My brother forced me to wear this shirt tonight...I think wearing leggings is out, except the ones with superugly patterns!" I am so sick of hipsters being like, "Oh, I chose this because it is so ugly!" You didn't choose it because it was ugly, you chose it because it was trendy. When everyone's clothes are "ugly" in the same unique way, then they are just popular. As we know, there is no true ugliness in hipster clothing anymore. And unless she was held at gunpoint, there is no real excuse for that jewel toned shoulder-padded blouse. Also, I don't support ever wearing this look, but if you are, at least add some Grace Jones hair or green false eyelashes. That wispy mullet and makeup-less face looks like Kristy McNichol's head pasted on Cher's body. Or something. It's disturbing.

Mariana, 27, says, "I don't wear labels, only second hand. This is one of my 20 euro outfits. I don't like to look like everyone else. I really like the 80's. Although I work as a stylist, I hate fashion." No, you don't. You don't wear an outfit this aggressively ugly and also hate fashion. You just can't put on any liquid/crushed velvet sequined batwing top and any pair of silver leggings with those trendy Wayfarer-esque cheap plastic sunglasses they give away for free, and pretend you just have a "whatever" attitude about the whole thing, even if you did mistakenly (I guess, if it even matters) pair it with old brown cowboy boots.


Simone said...

When every NYU freshman is wearing exactly the same thing these 4 ladies are wearing, it is definitely a trend. also, remember those girls with that boy on the subway and one of them was wearing the ugliest boots i have ever seen with short shorts? and a headband that, like, goes over your hair like it's a giant elastic? yeah. they were totally NYU freshmen.

Charioteer said...

First of all, I love your blog! And I feel some vague need to defend poor Nora, her outfit looks a lot like something my friend Justa wears all the time, except she would have, like, four more layers of bizarrely hideous stuff on top. Anyway, while the other three are not only wearing hideous outfits, they are boring as all hell. At least Nora's is colorful and actually kind of over the top in it's absurdity. The other three might as well have just coated themselves in different shades of dirt.

M said...

I guess I can concede that Nora's look is a little quirkier than the rest of them and she doesn't have as common a look as they do, but I have to say I find the shirt to be a calculated move. Though it's better than if she was wearing a lank gray sack dress theat the rest of them basically have on.

Dear Simone, I guess it makes sense that NYU freshman take the safest way to be "indie" since they are mostly suburban kids who are on their own in a city once reputed to be cool and all.

Lois said...

Why is she standing like that? Does she have to go pee? o_O

teach people not books said...

"Um, do you mean 80's clothes/What happens to be popular right now? Quirky!"


"'This is one of my 20 euro outfits. I don't like to look like everyone else.'"

unless in europe? i'm not even sure people in europe do look like this, just that her statement is ridiculously contradictory.

i enjoyed your thoughts on cuteugly.