I Liked It: Street Style Photos

Nobody ever seems to want to promote my blog or put it on their "blogroll" (thanks if you have!), despite the fact, that, according to Google analytics, a decent amount of people read it, (even if a small percentage were drawn in by the Google search "crotch bulges,") and here are some reasons probably why: 1. I am too critical 2. My blog does not actually "count" as a fashion blog 3. I don't make friends/endorse other bloggers, who, in turn, promote my blog.

Not that I'm upset or anything! Obviously I have some disdain for the typical fashion blog, but by no means do I think they're all bad or don't like reading them in general. But I do think it's funny that I never get as many responses on my positive posts as I do on my negative ones. Anyway, here are some outfits posted on other blogs I like:

These are both from Hel Looks. I like the girl on the top because she's wearing well-placed pops of my favorite color, red. She is also wearing plaid, which is another thing I love, but only if it's a good red-centered plaid, not that faded gray shit that's on your supercool flannel shirt.
The second lady has on a fabulous, well-constructed 1960's coat. Oh, they had designers then! Everyone these days has a 60's militaryish winter coat, but real 60's coats have such a great construction- just look at the wide collar, flat front created by the rows of buttons, and overall strong shoulders and sillouhette.



These are both from SF Fashionist, the street style blog that I was on once in a brief moment of glory. Anyway, besides the fact that neither of these ladies are typical subjects, they have some really good colors going on. I love the neat, pert little vintage shape of the woman's hat and her neat little suit, and I find the girl's super-colorful long dress and hair very inspiring, I guess because as a kid I always wanted to wear lots of poofy skirts and I still sort of do, in part because it's an entertaining, dramatic way of dressing. It pains me to see children dressed like little adults, whether whored up in mini Juicy Couture or with a baby mohawk, so it's doubly charming when kids are dressed like fairy tale people, because we don't get to do it much later in life, you know? And it's equally charming to see older people dressed elegantly and well-put-together, because young people dress like such slobs these days and whanot.

My Ankles Are Collapsing: The New Boot

Simone has been telling me, for quite some time, to do a post about this weird reverse boot-trend, cousin to the slouch boot, that has taken a foothold (no pun intended!!!) in the fashion world. It's a little bit 80's, a little bit avante-garde, a little bit clubfoot.
Here is a collage I made:
Just kidding! This was actually from this blog, which I will trust you to make your own opinions about. Anyway, how inspirational as usual that every designer designed the exact same thing at the same time.

Here is a closer look at the designer inspiration, by Rick Owens:
As you can see, it's a look of general ankle-collapse, a boot-cut shape melded onto your shoe. Also, for awhile now, showing the heels of shoe has been so over. It's all about the "covered platform," so you can achieve the "clubfoot look" so high in demand. I guess everyone is clamouring for as much as a diagonal line between their toes and the top of the boot that they can get.

Here are the "down market" versions, this time from Free People who are owned by Urban Outfitters"This is a weird, unsuccessful slouch bootie. The model's skinny ankles are dwarfed by these rectangular nightmares. "Obscure the shape of the foot!" I can hear the designers yelling. "The foot is dead!"

Alright, these UOs don't fit in with our theme 100%, except that they do make your feet look horribly misshapen, so I guess they actually do fit into the theme. Anyway, this combines the too-hot-right-or at least-was-hot this-summer woven huarache oxford with the bootie, which is also very popular. But more than anything it reminds me of the wildly fug Nikes everyone wore in high school, which also made one's feet look like a solid block. So buy those now, dudes, because they're probably going to be back soon! God, the year 2001 was, like, soooo awesome! I'm so ready for the revival.


What can I say? Fringe is hot, booties are hot, block-like cankles are hot. So there's no way you can go wrong in these!

These Free People shoes are taking the slouch boot trend about ten steps to far. Maybe I mention elephantiasis too often on this blog, but really, these just scream elephantiasis, loud and clear.

These are Urban Outfitters, and combine 1. The woven trend 2. The misshapen foot trend 3. The weird partially covered heel trend 4. The puzzling, but seemingly still being pushed--and, to an extent, I guess, worn even though I have never actually seen anyone wear them in real life because they make no sense---open toe boot trend. These also fall into the big ugly shoe trend, as they certainly have that "Medieval torture device" look.

These look like a column of shit. Next!


Come on, people! Are there fully formed boots hiding under this bizarre curtain? Could these look any sloppier? Are they made of linen or something? Don't you trip over these since they pool to the floor? Don't the ends get wet and shredded as they drag on the ground? Why the square toe? Why not just get any old pair of boots and tuck an old rag into the top?

This one looks like it belongs in a medical oddity museum, worn by a Renaissance-era person with some sort of foot disorder. It's funny, because the spry little elfin bootie was sort of the look of last year, but now since everything's taken such a lumpen turn, whoever designs these things decided to combine the two trends-obviously with poor results.

Anyway, the moral of this post is one that that has already been mentioned time and time again, yet still rings true: Do not combine seventeen trends at once on your person. And think "Would I be caught dead in these two years from now?" and "Why, exactly, do I long to wear them today?"

Cute Dress/Britney Spears

Dear Readers,
Here is another installment of "Things I Lost on eBay." Anyway, this mid-late 30's day dress is the fucking cutest thing I have ever seen in my life. Ohmygod, it's so cute, but it went for $84. Not that it isn't worth it. I bought another real cute one from the same seller though, so I shouldn't be too sad. Even though I can't afford it. Sometimes I dream I am Eva Longoria and I can just buy every early 40's/late 30's dress available.

I also didn't win this one, which is totally cute:



In other news, I'm pretty excited to watch "Britney: For the Record" right now. Lately I've been thinking a lot about her decline and fall, and honestly it would kind of suck if she just went back to being sunny, shallow Britney the star when, let's be honest, it was pretty awesome when she shaved her head and tried to attack the papparazzi with an umbrella. I feel it's an appropriate reaction to being involved with Star Search at a young age. Now she's trying to act all normal and stuff. I think she's in denial!

More People Who Are Famous for Some Reason

Following my previous post about female star(let)s of dubious talent (whose happiness I happen to be extremely jealous of) and whose fame is due entirely to connections they have, here is a new post about the daughters of aged rock musicians!

First of all, even though no one really cares about them, we have the Richards sisters, daughters of Keith Richards and some model whose name I actually do know is Patti Hansen. The "some model" aspect is very important, because having a model mother means you are tall and skinny, but having a rock star father means you have cachet. Anyway, I first read about the Richards sisters in Vogue a long time ago, and they're basically very boring and are kind of preppy Lauren Conrad types who probably don't know who the Rolling Stones are. But still, they are sort of lauded and always invited to show up at events and get modeling contracts like they didn't inherit Keith's forehead or something.
Also, if you want to see something uber-horrifying I came across in my google image search, I have posted it below:

Take that, Iggy Pop! And you thought you were withered! This is what Simone refers to as "looking like beef jerkey."

Then we have Daisy Lowe, who is like twelve or something:



When she first started getting popular, I assumed she was the daughter of singer-songwriter Nick Lowe, but actually she is the forgotten love child of Gavin Rossdale and someone. Are you still considered "rock royalty" if your father is Gavin Rossdale?

Anyway, model Daisy is known for this i-D magazine spread she did where her boyfriend grabbed her naked boobs (here is one of the less racy photos.) This was shot by "photog" Terry Richardson, who pioneered using flash in photos and shooting fifteen year olds in just a pair of children's underwear and a wolf mask on a motel bed. You know what I'm talking about- it's not misogyny- misogyny is dead. This is the "new misogyny!" Here's a good example. And another! Anyway, back to Daisy Lowe: much heralded as a British fashion icon, but, of course, if you look closely, she just looks like some girl you saw on the street five minutes ago.

Next we have Kimberly Stewart, Rod Stewart's daughter. As much as she tried, she never really pulled off that indie skank thing, and just got stuck in with simply skank. I decided to post her anyway because I can never resist a good nose job photo comparison. But seriously, she must feel bad that she ruined it so much by dressing like this and hanging out with Paris Hilton. After all, Rod Stewart is cooler than Gavin Rossdale.


Then, (shown in the second photo with Miss Lowe in the Doc Martens) there's Peaches Geldof (short for "Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa," sister to "Fifi" and "Pixie." Hey, how about just naming your daughters "Kandy Kanes" or "Mandee Melons?" ) But we all knew Bob Geldof was overly full of himself when you saw his Live Aid performance, right? Like everyone else on this list, she is a "model" and hosts a TV show in England. Apparently she also has a reputation for being condescending, and, according to Wikipedia, "Pete Doherty blamed his poor performance at 2005's Live 8 concert on Peaches making a 'suggestive' comment to him shortly before he went onstage, which the teenager denied." Haha. Anyway, she recently got married to some other nineteen year old but I think she's getting a divorce soon.

And to contrast with the ladies in this post, Cisco Adler, noted ex of Mischa Barton, Kimberly Stewart, and apparently Paris Hilton and Lauren Conrad. He is also the son of some LA music guy and was in a band like Keanu Reeves called "Whitestarr" and is known for being an allaround hipster/douche, but a lame LA hipster, not even a New York one. Also, googleimage search him for some of the most horrifying nude photos ever. 

Anyway, even though he's wildly hideous, since he's a guy he never had to get a nose job or a face reduction or whatever the hell would fix him. (If you've googleimaged him by now, you'll see that it's at least a balls reduction.) And because he's a guy he is actually in a band and plays an instrument (I mean, if you can call it that), which is equally frusturating as we all really wanted Nicole Richie's violin or whatever she supposedly plays career to get off the ground. But seriously, of course none of these woman are famous for anything besides wearing wet-look leggings, whereas we all know if Keith Richards had two sons they would sure as hell be in several bands right now. Like, I'm sure none of these people event taught their daughters to play instruments or anything.

So there are more (Lizzee Jagger, anyone?) but this post is already too long. Please let me know if you'd like more celeb spawn posts!

It's That Talentless Girl from The Hills! And She Looks Like Blossom!*

Here is a great example of a trend overload, on immensely talented performer/nose job recipient Ashley Tisdale. A bad trend overload. Now that all those trends that used to be reserved for the hipster set, from the "Indian inspired" Minnetonkas and Pocohantas bands to an overuse of scarves to oversized glasses to old lady purses, to huge men's v-neck t-shirts, have been taken up by all the preppy girls, the only way you can even tell a hipster from a standard mall JAP these days is the Mystic tan, am I right?

Anyway, Ashley has on a myriad of hipster-to-normal trends, starting with an ugly oversized t-shirt that is supposed to look like vintage but was probably $60 at Diesel. Also, a horribly fugly Chanel "vintage" style bag. Again, this mom-purse trend with the long straps is real hot. One of my fashion pet peeves, as I have mentioned many times before, is a carrying a bag that is not appropriate for the look. Usually, ladies tote around elaborate leather purses with lots of hardware and pair them with their sundresses or Juicy suits or whatever. This is no exception. I know in her case, it's supposed to look funky, but really it looks tired, besides being totally inappropriate. Then the colored jean, which we are all sick off. And finally, fringed Uggs! Uggs are out (sort of) and Minnatonkas are in so we'll just combine them!

At first thought, I didn't see Ashley, I saw her feet, and I thought she was someone with that "tree" disease as seen on TLC that perhaps some of us have been horrified by. Speaking of which, TLC should rename itself "The Sideshow Network" because every single thing on it is like, "Two Ton Dad!" "Two Ton Mom!" "The Littlest People in the World!" "The Man Who's Arms Exploded!" I mean, I'm not saying I don't watch these specials on occasion, but it's interesting to note that the freak show is still alive and well, albeit with a thin veneer of "education" over it.

Alright, I'm done talking about that. now, moving on to someone from The Hills! A lesser person from The Hills! Whitney Port! Who's that? Some ho!


Auggghhhh!!! It's so 90's! Remember how often things were selectively plaid all the time in the 90's? Maybe you had a jean jacket with plaid flannel sleeves and a hood? Or a pair of overalls with a plaid pocket? Well, we all know that this has been the year that plaid and flannel have surged out of control because we're all so ready for the grunge era #2, so plaid patchwork is probably coming soon.


Just look at it! It's so shapelessly short and boxy. Is this a new garment or is it from 1992? Is she wearing friendship bracelets, too??? Seriously, are those John Lennon glasses with the purple lenses going to come back soon? I had a pair of those I thought were really cool and this one extremely cold winter when I visited my family on the east coast my mother and I got our picture in the paper and I was wearing them because I thought it would keep the cold out of my face and my grandfather framed the photo even though I looked strangely deformed in it. Probably due largely in part to the glasses.

Here are some predictions for Fall '09:

*I tried to think of a different title because I feel I mention Blossom too much on this blog, and haven't I used this reference before? Probably.

I Love the 70's (and late 60's): Shoe Edition

I love looking at vintage clothing not only because vintage is just, like, way cuter and more interesting to look at than modern stuff, but because (as corny as it sounds), vintage clothing tells a story. Because clothing and everything else wasn't just mass-produced in some far-off factory in those days, and trends didn't change with lightning speed, and everything was made with far more care and far better materials, vintage clothing reflects not only a high quality of workmanship but a window into a time and place, whether it was a pair of sky-high platforms made for doing the hustle at Studio 54 or much-mended feedsack dress altered to fit changing styles during the Depression. (That's right, people used to mend things. And unlike that acrylic sweater sack you just bought at H&M, they weren't supposed to sprout holes upon first wearing.)

So here are some vintage shoes!Okay, these shoes I am thinking about buying because I was convinced they were an exact copy of the shoes David Bowie is wearing in this post (the only Rip It To Shreds post, by the way, with the coveted "drunken ramblings" tag), but, on closer inspection, they really are not all that similar. I mean, they are similar, but there's nothing eerie about the resemblance. But no matter. These 70's thigh high boots, which are a size 4 so they would fit me but no one else, are still the epitome of all that is glam rock and what I wanted to wear at a tender young age when I thought I dressed glam rock all the time even though really I was just wearing lots of rhinestone bracelets and Steve Madden platforms. If I had had shoes like these, I could have stomped to school like a little, authentic glitter drag queen. Except we all know glam rockers don't stomp, they do fey little leaps.


Sadly, these 70's suede platforms are not my size. If they were I would buy them. Once, in this blog, I associated the 70's with the words "clunky psychedelic earthiness", and all those words definitely reflect in these babies. They remind me quite a bit of one of my favorite 70's artists (ALSO mentioned in this blog before), Peter Max, who kind of epitomized that art nouveau meets psychedelia thing that was so prevalent in the 60's and 70's, and later went on to make a lot of fugly 80's art, characterized by overly large canvases and bright colors. Anyway, the best image I could find was this one, which is not so amazing but i guess had something to do with Woodstock? Hey, what didn't in the 60's? Am I right?


Also, in the late 60's Peter Max had a line of sneakers that Marc Jacobs did some chintzy rip-offs when he was more inspired. Check out these original Peter Max sneakers, though- so cool! As previously mentioned again, his star print sheets (I also have a scarf) are some of my prized possessions.



And these are just insane:

Bizarre 70's bandanna print platforms. Kind of disco, kind of picnic in the park, 100% meant to be worn with hot pants.

Inspiration: Vintage Criminals

Mug shot of Valerie Lowe, 15 February 1922, Central Police Station, Sydney
Originally uploaded by juffrouwjo

Mug shot of Sidney Kelly, 25 June 1924, Central Police Station, Sydney
Originally uploaded by juffrouwjo

h


The woman in the fab 30's knit dress is Bonnie, of Bonnie and Clyde, who is also seen embracing him in the other photo, and the guy in the sweater with the multiple shots was involved in the Lincoln assasination. Check out this Flickr page for more!