Wednesday, July 4, 2007

A Tyrade Against Lady Chocolate: Drunken Ramblings

Dear Gentle Readers,
Since no one reads my blog except my friends, and since I have been urged by them to do a blog against Lady Chocolate, whose name I have since figured out is actually Miss Chocolate, aka The Door Person at Trannyshack, (who we have a vendetta against already because Simone got angry at one night in 2004 or something when we tried to get into "Miss Trannyshack 2004" at someplace downtown and our names weren't on the list even though we paid, and Simone ranted about that "ugly tranny who had Botox and facial surgery" who wouldn't let us in and instead we went to the Tonga Room, which is also downtown, and got wasted and danced to Crazy in Love by Beyonce), and who also [Miss Chocolate, not Beyonce] we are apparently supposed to tip (whatever) even though we payed her $8 admission get into Trannyshack, which is a rip-off since tonight, though we were technically were able to get in, we couldn't move/get a drink/see the performance which Simone said was just a tranny who looked like Janeane Garafolo, and it was very lucky I was already drunk/had bought that bottle of Jack Daniels at that liquor store next to Zante Pizza which we drank in line while we waited for the too-crowded event), and despite the fact that we( meaning me) have been a David Bowie devotee since we were sixteen and we're now 23 and we're supped to finally go Trannyshack and live out or adolescent dreams, we had been waiting in line over for an hour with no hopes of getting befpre the show started.

Luckily, when we finally got out of the very hot and cramped environment of the oversold and so over-crowded Trannyshack wherein some guy with a mohawk tried to grab me by my hand and lead me to the stage but just gave up, a very nice tranny whose named we never caught accompanied us to the Shell Station because, as she said, "they didn't like big girls" and bought Jen a dark chocolate Snickers bar while I bought a diet Lime Coke even though I didn't really want to, and talked to us about Midnight Mass and, though I proclaimed that I hated Lady [whose name is actually Miss] Chocolate very loudly, told me to not to say such terrible things about Trannyshack.

In conclusion, Trannyshack is a fire hazard and Miss Chocolate is a bitch, but Trannyshack attracts some very nice ladies, including many who complimented me on my silver 60's dress, and I hope to attend it sometime when it isn't so busy. Shout-outs to The Sco/trannies/The Twin Peaks, aka Glass Coffin, aka The Best Gay Bar in the 415, which is saying something.

PS: I was going to find a photo of Lady Chocolate and out an X through her face, but it took too long. It would have been pretty funny though!


Gaby + Simone said...

what is up with bowie's crotch in that photo?

also, lady chocolate is a whore!

M said...

what is ever up with david bowie's crotch? it's an eternal mystery.

it looks like he stuck a milk carton in there!