Sunday, October 21, 2007

I Am Sick of Looking at This Bitch

Welcome to my newest feature, "I Am Sick of Looking at This Bitch." I may have to edit my Shia LaBoef and Dita Von Teese posts to include these words, as they too fit well within the category.

Anyway, today I am featuring Lauren "LC" Conrad, former star of Laguna Beach and current star of The Hills. People are always talking about this show, asking, "Is it fake? I have a friend who works in LA and he says he saw them reshoot a scene? Do you think it is real?" etc. I will tell you right now, the stupid show is hella fake, much like the highly nauseating train wreck Rock of Love, all those shows like The Bachelor and Do You Want to Marry the Rich Hunchback that used to be popular during the reality craze of '02, and even Top Model, to an extent.

Anyway, I really think it's time old LC, like her doppelganger Blandy McBlanderson --whom she somehow eclipsed in fame even though they are the same person-- to finish up with her fifteen minutes, her cushy "internship" at Teen Vogue (which SUCKS, by the way, and doesn't even hold a candle to the late ElleGirl) and get off the various media sources she is constantly on, showing off her boring face, attire, and weave. She is one of those girls who are always saying things like "I live for fashion!" which to them means going out and buying the latest Juicy suit or fugly it bag and pairing everything with leggings. Away with you, LC! We are at least ready for some other Mystic-tanned twenty year old who looks forty to step into the spotlight and take away your fame. Hopefully one with some sort of stunning drug problem, for we love that sort of thing nowadays.

4 comments:

Simone said...

I still can't tell the two of them apart. and then there's the one with the boob and nose job, who i only recognize because her hair is whiter than the others. and she has that wide-faced boyfriend.

remember when daria was on mtv, and that was a role model for girls? yeah. fuck you, mtv. fuck you.

Anonymous said...
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Mary said...

yes, the boyfriend with the huge face. let's not pretend we don't know his name is spencer, and that they might be engaged, and that we don't both think/know how totally, completely romantic that is and i also saw a picture of them in us walking arm and arm on the beach with her new boobs aglowing.

Mary said...

PS: fuck you, tara!